First Steps Forward
by autumn.rain08
Summary: Set in 1921, Downton Abbey seems to be emerging from the shadows of Lady Sybil's untimely death nearly six months ago. Now, Mary and Matthew face new and expected changes that help them learn to take their first steps forward. *DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters or places that are mentioned in this story.
1. Chapter 1

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello! **_

_**So, as you can see under my username, I'm 08 and I am a new member of . This is slightly nerve-wracking because this is my first fanfiction EVER, so please show it some love! Downton Abbey is one of my absolute favourite television shows at the moment and I cannot express my great love for it in words (I'm sure many of you know how I feel when I say this). This is just my little note of saying hi and I do hope that I can be welcomed into this amazing fanbase that has grown over the years.  
**_

_**Now, enough of my ranting and on with the chapter! **_

* * *

"_Welcome back, sir."_

Having returned from another extensive day at the firm, Matthew was greeted by Thomas in the foyer of Downton Abbey, upon his arrival. Ready to offer his services, Thomas had taken the jacket and hat Matthew had worn today and his briefcase off from the floor. With his hands clasped together, Matthew glanced around the foyer, in hopes of hearing the light clicking of his wife's heels across the wooden floor to welcome his return. He was waiting for her head to pop out from the library, but tonight, Matthew was left without warm greeting.

"Do you happen to know where Mary may be?"

"I believe Lady Mary is in your bedroom, sir," Thomas replied, straightening Matthew's jacket over the crook of his right arm. "According to Anna, she had stayed there for the majority of the day."

Matthew frowned in concern. Before his departure this morning, Mary was still deeply asleep, an occurrence that rarely happened during the days he had work. It was accustomed to wake up by each other's presence before getting ready, but not without a few stolen kisses in the warmth of their bed. However, Matthew's morning routine did not seem to bother his wife, nor did he have the heart to wake her in such a peaceful state. Granted, things have not exactly been the same since Sybil's passing nearly six months ago, but their mornings were always the same.

"Oh dear," Matthew murmured under his breath.

_Had she fallen ill_? Matthew couldn't help but to feel a growing concern for his wife's well-being. It wasn't in her nature to stay put in one spot all day.

"Would you like me to help you get ready for dinner this evening, sir?" Thomas asked, snapping Matthew back into reality. "The dressing gong has already rung."

Matthew curtly nodded, with a frown still creased between his brows. "Yes, thank you. But, I would like to go check up on my wife beforehand. I shall meet you in my dressing room in a moment."

"Very good, sir," Thomas nodded and headed up the stairs to drop of Matthew's belongings in his dressing room.

Looking at the grand staircase of Downton, Matthew shuffled up the stairs, taking two steps at a time and walked down the silent corridor that led to their bedroom. Reaching the door, his hand ready to turn the doorknob, but hesitated and decided to knock instead.

"Come in," he heard a faint reply.

With a deep breath, Matthew turned the doorknob and saw his wife at her dressing table, dabbing a bit of perfume on her wrists and neck while Anna was finishing off her hair. Mary caught Matthew's presence in the reflection by the vanity mirror before a loving smile escaped her lips.

"You're back."

As her cue to leave, Anna drew back from the vanity table and curtly bowed towards Matthew before she exited the room, leaving the couple to be in each other's company. Mary stood up from her little stool and walked over to where Matthew stood and lightly tiptoed to gift him a welcoming kiss, which he gratefully accepted. The warmth of her lips perfectly molded over his, as a hand went to cup her porcelain cheek. His other arm unconsciously wrapped around her tiny waist, a gesture that Matthew had become so accustomed to since their marriage of almost a year. As they broke apart, Matthew gazed at his wife's appearance and smiled.

"You look absolutely beautiful this evening," he said.

Mary smiled. "Any married man smart enough to say such things to their wife knows what he's doing."

"Then, I guess you married a smart man."

She chuckled. "Yes, I suppose I did."

Matthew kissed the temple of Mary's forehead, all the while inhaling her scent, the scent that he had come to grow to love.

Gently pulling away from his embrace, Mary walked back to her vanity in which she took the time to browse through her jewelry box.

"You should get dressed," Mary said as she placed a pair of pearl earrings onto her delicate ear lobes. "Dinner is about to start soon and Grandmama is coming over tonight."

Despite wanting more time with his wife after a long day in Ripon, Matthew obliged to Mary's words and entered his dressing room.

Having changed for dinner, Matthew re-entered the bedroom to see Mary sitting on their bed, aimlessly gazing out the window. Her slender fingers were fiddling with her wedding band, a habit of hers that Matthew would often see. It appeared to Matthew that Mary did not seem to be aware of his presence and it gave him an opportunity to fully see his wife.

Her creamy, porcelain skin that would normally illuminate under the light seemed to be paler than most days. Matthew was almost certain Mary carried a waxy hue, a complexion that he rarely saw her carry. Her cheeks were sunken in, further accentuating her already sculpted cheekbones, looking as if she hadn't eaten for a couple of days. Then her eyes, her beautiful brown eyes that were always so full of life and passion now looked tired and weary.

Matthew felt a pang of guilt for not seeing his wife up-close until now. How long has she been like this? What was he doing all this time? Had she fallen ill without his knowledge? He had recently got a promotion at the firm back in Ripon, which included longer hours and more paperwork along with the new wage. But, this also meant not seeing his wife as often as he would like, only seeing her during dinners in the evenings and on the weekends. It was no wonder Matthew had not seen his wife's current state until now.

Closing his dressing room door behind him, Matthew walked over to his wife, clearing his throat to acknowledge his presence. He crouched before her, staring up into Mary's eyes, which seemed to drift back into reality after seeing her husband's familiar face. His hands were placed over hers as his thumb gently caressed her soft skin.

"Darling, are you alright?" Matthew asked softly, with a voice under growing concern.

"Of course," Mary replied. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Despite her answer, Matthew heard a hint of wavering, not being entirely convinced over his wife's response. She was physically in front of him, but it didn't feel like she was _with_ him.

"I'm not quite sure. It's just… you just look tired that's all," he said. "I heard that you stayed in bed for most of the day. Would you like me to tell the others that you're not feeling well so you could rest?"

"Don't be ridiculous. That won't be necessary," Mary answered. She stood up from the bed, letting Matthew's hands fall from hers and started shuffling towards the bedroom door. "We mustn't be late, Matthew. They might be all waiting for us."

Knowing he wouldn't get an answer out of Mary so easily, he straightened up from his position and followed behind his wife and wrapped an arm around her. After planting a kiss on the crown of her head, the two headed downstairs for dinner.

* * *

At dinner, Mary sat between the Dowager and Edith, with Matthew sitting across from her. She didn't want to be constantly under his care despite his good intentions. It was true that she had stayed in bed for most of the day, but how Matthew had come to this knowledge, was beyond her.

It was the first time in nearly a year since she was woken up by Anna's presence in her room instead of her husband's movements of getting ready for work. All of her muscles ached and she felt a headache arising. Her belief was that if she rested for most of the day, she would feel better by dinner. Though her headache had left, her body was still sore and cried for a hot bath to ease the tension away.

Sitting beside Cousin Robert, Matthew couldn't focus on much of their conversations for his eyes kept glancing towards Mary from across the table. He noticed she had barely taken a few bites to eat and whenever a new dish was served before her, she would take the smallest portions, but gently moving it around her plate for the appearance of it being eaten. She had minimal conversation with the women, but they didn't seem to take notice. She mostly listened and stared down at the table, with her hand pushing her fork across the plate. It was the same stare she had when she was sitting in their bedroom, looking so lost, and vulnerable. Matthew just wanted to get up from his seat and comfort his wife, but refrained from doing so. After all, he knew that getting an answer out of Mary from incessant questioning would only irritate her even more. Instead, he waited out until everybody was ready to head to the drawing room for more casual conversing.

As everybody started walking out of the dining room, Matthew caught Mary's elbow and gently walked her off to the side of the lobby.

"Darling, is there something the matter?" he asked once more. "You've barely had anything to eat at dinner. I know you don't like to be constantly cared for, but you must know and understand that I'm only asking because I'm genuinely concerned for you."

Mary weakly smiled. Confessing her feelings had never been a strong trait of hers. She believed showing emotion was a sign of great weakness, even if it towards her own husband. It was something he was still chipping the ice away, but it's only in Mary's nature to restrict herself from revealing too much of her feelings.

To be quite honest, Mary didn't feel very well. All of her aches and pains seemed to have gotten worse over dinner and she suddenly felt chills running down her spine.

"I'm fine, but I am feeling a little tired," she responded. She wasn't lying, but she wasn't exactly telling Matthew the entire truth either. "I think I might head upstairs early and ask Anna to run me a bath. Do you think you can tell the others that I've gone up?"

"Of course," Matthew said, with great concern in his voice. "I'll come up as soon as I can."

* * *

Mary sighed in relief and pleasure as she let her herself soak in the warm bath that Anna had drawn, letting all of her aches and pains slowly melt away. Her head was propped up against the edge of the bathtub, with the rest of her body emerged in the rosewater. Her eyes were closed and she let the quietness lead her to a place of tranquility. Without her knowing, Mary slowly drifted in and out of consciousness, unaware of how long she had been in the tub until she faintly heard Anna's voice from afar.

"M'lady?" Anna said. "M'lady, are you alright?"

Mary's eyes slowly fluttered opened as she saw Anna holding a couple of towels in her hands.

"How long have I been in here?"

"Nearly thirty minutes, m'lady," Anna answered. She opened up the large towel in which Mary slipped over her body and carefully climbed out of the tub.

"After draining the bath you can be excused," Mary said. "You've done enough work for one day, Anna. I think I can manage the rest."

"Thank you, m'lady," Anna thanked as she began draining the bath before heading back to the servant's hall.

After changing into her silk nightgown and dressing robe, Mary exited the bathroom and into the bedroom she and Matthew shared. She found him sitting atop on their bed, also wearing his dressing robe and a little frown across his face.

"How are you feeling?" Matthew asked as he motioned his wife over to his side.

Mary walked over to the bed and sat beside her husband, letting him warm an arm around her shoulder.

"I took a bath. My muscles were aching a bit so I thought a bath would do some good."

"Perhaps you're coming down with something," Matthew mumbled. He placed a hand over Mary's forehead, but silently prayed to God in relief when he found no traces of a fever.

"Really, Matthew…" Mary lightly scolded. "You worry too much."

Matthew sighed as he placed a kiss onto his wife's forehead, then her nose, and then found the softness of her lips over his own. As he drew back, he leaned his forehead against hers, their noses gently brushing against one another.

"I'm sorry," Matthew apologized in a gentle whisper. "I feel as though I've been neglecting you due to work."

Mary drew back and it was her turn to carry the frown. "Why? You've not neglected me at all."

"You may not feel like I have, but I do," Matthew said. "With the new promotion at work, I feel like I have let you down as a husband. Anna just informed me of your muscles aches that have been reoccurring for almost a week now and that you rarely ever leave the house because you've been feeling a little under the weather. You refuse to have Dr. Clarkson come up and check to see if you're alright."

Mary frowned even deeper after hearing her trust with Anna had been broken. "Anna told you? Why would she-"

"I asked her."

"Oh…I see."

Matthew stood up from his spot and kneeled in front of his wife, the same way he did before the evening's dinner. His large hands enveloped her soft ones as the couple gazed into each other's eyes.

"I'm just concerned, darling," Matthew said. "I just want to be sure that you're not gravely ill. Surely you can't be angered by my desire to ensure your well-being."

Mary's frown slowly dissipated after hearing her husband's response. Handling illnesses were not his strong suit with everything that has happened in the past.

"Of course I'm not angry," Mary sighed. She combed her fingers through Matthew's floppy bangs. "I could never be cross with you. Frustrated? Yes, but angry? Never."

Smiling, Matthew helped Mary into bed, drawing the covers over her body. Blowing out the candle beside her, he walked over to his side with the help of the light illuminating from the full moon seeping through the translucent drapes. He slipped beneath the covers and drew Mary into his embrace so her head was by the crook of his neck.

"You will inform me the next time you feel even the slightest unwell?" Matthew asked.

He felt Mary sigh as she nuzzled herself closer towards his body. "If it makes you feel better, then yes. I promise."

Satisfied by her answer, Matthew closed his eyes as the two of them drifted off to sleep.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:_ So, how did I do for the first chapter?_**

**_Comments/advice would be greatly appreciated. I'm new at this, so please excuse any mistakes I may have made!  
_**

**_I hope to see you soon!  
_**

**_ 08  
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	2. Chapter 2

_**Author's Note: Hello again!**_

_**I'm very grateful for the positive feedback that I have received over the first chapter. You have no idea how much that means to me. I hope that your support will continue and grow as the story continues to grow as well. I'm not quite sure how long it will take me to post the next chapter because I've been procrastinating GREATLY (because of my decision to watch Downton Abbey instead of doing work), but I hope the wait won't be too long.  
**_

_**Feedback is always welcomed and encouraged :)  
**_

_**Now, here's chapter 2!  
**_

* * *

"_Mr. Crawley? You have a visitor."_

Matthew looked up from his paperwork and slightly frowned at his secretary who was standing by the door. A visitor? He didn't recall having any scheduled appointments at this time, especially so close to the end of his shift.

"Did he or she book an appointment?" Matthew asked. "I don't recall having any more appointments for today."

His secretary smiled. "No sir, but it's your wife."

Upon hearing that his wife has come to visit him, his head snapped up and his pen stopped scratching against the paper he was writing on. _Mary?_ It was always a pleasant surprise to have his wife come visit him at work because it was a rare occasion for her to do so. But, judging by her weakened condition over the past few days, Matthew was concerned as to why she was here in Ripon. _Has she gone to Dr. Clarkson?_ But, he pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind as his frown turned into a smile.

"Well then, we wouldn't want to keep Lady Mary waiting. Send her in."

The door to Matthew's office shut behind his secretary and re-opened once more to reveal Mary standing before Matthew. He stood up from his seat and walked over to where she stood to give her an affectionate kiss on the cheek before motioning her to sit on the chair across from his.

"Darling, this is quite a surprise," Matthew said as he took a seat back into his chair. "What brings you here?"

"You make it sound like my presence is unwelcome," Mary teased.

Matthew chuckled. "You are always welcome here."

Mary smoothed out her red skirt before her as she placed her small handbag onto her lap. "Well, Mama needed a few things here in Ripon, so I offered to go for her. And since it was almost your departure time from work, I figured I would stop by at your office and see if we could return to Downton together?"

Matthew's eyes softened upon hearing those words from his wife. Mary was never one to really show her emotions or her affectionate side all that much unless they were by themselves. It didn't matter to Matthew because he was well aware of her love despite other people's beliefs that she was a cold-hearted woman. But, to her family and Matthew himself, she was a woman with great love and compassion. And whenever Matthew saw Mary so innocent, like today, It was these little gestures of hers that Matthew found the most cherishing.

Matthew reached over his desk to hold one of Mary's gloved hands before planting a kiss on it. His thumb gently motioned back and forth against the leather as he smiled.

"Of course we can head back down together," Matthew replied. "You needn't ask."

* * *

As the weekend rolled in, Matthew was given the luxury to spend some more intimate time with his wife: perhaps walk down to the gardens to see the flowers in bloom, sitting together in the library as each read their own book respectively, or maybe even just stay in bed and make love all day. He wouldn't mind doing anything if it had meant he got to spend every moment of it with Mary.

It was midday on a Saturday, with the sun at its highest peak, its glorious rays shining down on the land of Downton. Under Cora's suggestion to have afternoon tea out in the gardens, a tent was set up on the estate where everybody had gathered for tea and biscuits.

"It's just a beautiful day," Cora sighed, as she felt the warm spring breeze tickle her skin.

Cousin Violet seemed to be the only member of the family who was not fully aboard on the decision to have her afternoon tea outdoors. "Well, I don't see why we couldn't have enjoyed this beautiful weather indoors."

"Oh granny, live a little," Mary said with a playful arched brow.

"I think I've lived enough years to decide what I do and don't like, Mary dear," Cousin Violet responded as she took a sip of her tea.

A small smile perked up onto Mary's lips at her grandmother's response. For an old woman, she was just as stubborn as a four year-old. It was no question as to where she got her stubbornness from.

"So, Edith, how is working with newspapers?" Matthew asked curiously.

Edith smiled as she placed her cup down onto her saucer. "Quite well, actually, thank you for asking. It's definitely a change from sitting at social parties and gatherings."

Robert let out a soft, but firm groan after the mere mentioning of Edith's new "hobby" that he did not approve of. Edith's gaze looked towards her father whose eyes were focused on the grass below them as he took a sip of his tea. Her eyes drooped slightly in sadness. After all, it was her only wish to have her father's approval in the decisions she made. But, it seemed to her that having three rebellious daughters (to some degree) was getting to be too much for the man.

"I really wish you would approve of my decision, Papa," Edith said quietly.

"I'm sorry if my wishes to have things return back to their original state before the war does not comply with your decision to work for the newspapers," Robert replied frustratingly.

"But Papa, it's the 1920s! Changes were bound to happen whether you approved of them or not."

"I am well aware of the fact that changes are happening, Edith," Robert said firmly. "…but, it doesn't mean that I should be like everyone else and accept them. That editor was only seeking you out for your title, Edith. Don't think that the reason as to why he offered you a position as a journalist was solely based on your writing."

While the father-daughter bickering ensued, Mary stared out towards the estate, watching the calming wind gently blow against the blades of grass. As much fun Mary gets from a good argument, her muscle aches and growing headache were distracting her from any involvement. Her tea was left untouched in her lap, with her eyes closing every so often in hopes it would lessen the pain coming from her head and just about everywhere else. But, the multiple voices coming from her family members were not helping.

Standing up from her seat, she fixed her skirt, freeing it from any lines or wrinkles that may have formed from sitting down.

"I think I'll take a walk around the estate," Mary said as she began walking over to the table where the silver tray was set along with the kettle, sugar, and milk.

However, despite wanting to leave quietly, Mary felt a rush of dizziness, allowing her cup and saucer to slip out of her grasp and fall against the silver tray and shattering to pieces. The tea that was inside began pooling inside the tray as she held a weak grip against the table to steady herself.

Having heard the clatter, Matthew was immediately by his wife's side, slipping an arm around her waist to keep her elevated.

"Darling! Are you alright?" Matthew asked in a calm, but nervous manner. "Are you hurt? What happened?"

Mary leaned against Matthew's lean chest for support. "I…I don't know. I just felt suddenly dizzy. I think it must be the heat."

"Mary, you're white as a sheet!" Cora said with a concerning frown upon her face. "Maybe you should go inside and rest. Matthew, will you take her back to your bedroom?"

"I'll make it my very duty and see to it that she goes back into bed immediately," Matthew replied firmly.

* * *

Helping Mary back into the house, Matthew called up Anna to the bedroom to help Mary change into her nightgown. He stood outside their bedroom, pacing back and forth until Anna emerged, closing the door behind her.

"How is she?" he asked.

Anna lightly smiled. "She's in bed, resting. She requested for some water, so I'm going to get that for her now."

Matthew nodded. "Very well, I don't want to delay your duties."

With a curtsy, Anna headed downstairs and into the servant's hall. With a deep breath in, Matthew opened the door to their bedroom, where he saw Mary lying on her side of the bed, her back faced towards him. He quietly walked over to where she lay, pulling up a chair beside her and gently stroked her pale check with his thumb. Mary's eyes slowly fluttered opened as she weakly smiled at Matthew's presence.

"I'm sorry for ruining tea," she whispered.

"Shhh, just rest my darling," Matthew said. "We can talk more when you're feeling better. I'm going to phone Dr. Clarkson so he can-"

"No."

Matthew frowned at Mary's response. "Mary, you're clearly coming down with something. You need to be examined by Dr. Clarkson-"

Mary shook her head. "No, there's no need. I just need some rest. Please don't call Dr. Clarkson up. I'm sure he has many other patients to see and I don't want to bother him with something that doesn't need his medical attention."

"But-"

"Matthew, please."

The weariness in Mary's voice made it very clear to Matthew that this argument was not negotiable. Not wanting to further his wife from any unnecessary exhaustion, he relented.

"Alright, I won't phone up Dr. Clarkson," he said begrudgingly. "But, if this gets worse, I will call him whether I get your permission or not. Is that understood?"

Mary nodded before her eyes closed, sending her off into a deep sleep.

As the day slowly turned into night, Mary had awoken from her sleep to only to see Matthew donned in his dinner jacket. She smiled.

"Well don't you look very handsome this evening," she said.

"I only try to impress the best," Matthew joked.

Mary chuckled.

Matthew smiled while listening to Mary's light laughter. The warmth of it was a definite change to her weak state.

"Have you had dinner?" she asked.

Matthew nodded. "Cousin Violet had left not too long ago. Everybody was very worried about you."

"Hmm…"

"Would you like me to get you something to eat?" Matthew asked. "You missed lunch and dinner and you've barely had anything to eat for breakfast."

Mary shook her head. "No, but I wouldn't mind a cup of tea."

"What the lady wants, the lady shall get," Matthew said. He stood up from his chair and kissed the top of Mary's head. "I'll go and fetch some from downstairs."

"But, you needn't do it yourself. Why not just ring up Anna?"

"Is there a problem to have a husband be chivalrous to his wife?" Matthew questioned, raising an eyebrow.

Mary giggled. "I suppose not."

"Well then, I'll be back in a moment."

Matthew then headed downstairs to the kitchens. When he returned, he had brought with him a silver tray of tea and a couple of sandwiches in case Mary decided to have a bite to eat. However, when he opened the door to their bedroom, Mary was not occupying the bed and the bedcovers to her side were thrown open.

"Mary?" Matthew called out as he set down the silver tray onto the bedside table.

He then heard a sound of someone retching violently coming from the bathroom. Quick on his feet, Matthew rushed to the bathroom to see Mary by the toilet, clutching the bowl, heaving the contents from her stomach. Matthew knelt down beside her and used one hand to keep her hair out of her face while the other was making circular motions across her back. He couldn't help but to wince every time he heard Mary be violently ill, only wishing that he could do something, _anything_, to help ease the pain away.

When she had finished, she leaned against Matthew, her chest taking in shaky breaths from the unexpected event. He heard soft cries escaping her lips as he calmed her down with his soothing words.

"Oh, my darling," Matthew whispered into Mary's ear as he picked her up off the floor and carried her back into bed.

He took a basin from the bathroom and filled it with cold water and returned back to Mary's bedside, where she lay completely ashen in the face. He dipped a washcloth in the water and wrung out the excess and began lightly dabbing it across Mary's face. She lightly groaned at the contact.

After a few minutes of silence, Matthew sat up from his seat.

"Right, well I'm going to phone up Dr. Clarkson," he said. "I'll be back in a moment."

"Matthew, there is no need," Mary lightly groaned as she sat up in bed.

Matthew frowned. "Of course there's a need! You've had muscles aches for a week, as well as a re-occurring headache. And not to mention that your appetite has been declining and now you're being sick. So, please enlighten me when my only assumption is that you've caught the flu of some sort because by God, Mary, I think I'm going to go insane the next time you refuse my wishes to call Dr. Clarkson. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to call Dr. Clarkson because that was our agreement."

Matthew started marching towards the door, with his hand reaching for the handle before Mary spoke up.

"There isn't a need because I've already gone to Dr. Clarkson."

Matthew froze in his spot as he pivoted to face back towards Mary who was twisting her wedding band with her fingers, signalling her anxiousness.

"You went to go see Dr. Clarkson?

Mary lightly rolled her eyes. "Yes, Matthew. There is no need to repeat what I had just said."

"When did you go see him?"

"Remember a few days ago when I came to see you in Ripon, telling you I was there to run a few errands for Mama?"

Matthew nodded.

"Yes, well, I wasn't completely honest with you," Mary confessed. "I was also there to see Dr. Clarkson."

Matthew's voice got caught in his throat.

"Why didn't you tell me that you had gone to see Dr. Clarkson?" Matthew asked, clearly hurt and disappointed by Mary's decision to keep her appointment with the family doctor a private one.

"It was in my very intention to tell you, but I just couldn't find the right moment."

Mathew sarcastically scoffed. "And you figured the best way to tell me was to watch your health deteriorate."

"Oh Matthew, you always make things so black and white!"

"Can I not assume the worst when my wife didn't inform me of a doctor's appointment?"

"Well I didn't think my symptoms would get worse!"

There was a moment of silence between the couple. Mary remained quiet in bed while Matthew had his arms crossed, his body leaning against the bedroom door. His eyes never left his wife, who did everything in her power to avoid his contact.

_Get worse?_ Matthew's imagination now only imaged the worst possible outcome from Mary's visit with Dr. Clarkson. Has Mary fallen gravely ill? A new wave of the Spanish flu? Cancer? His eyes closed, trying to block out all those unimaginable illnesses that could potentially take his Mary away.

"…So, you are ill…" Matthew whispered, afraid that his voice would break if he spoke any louder.

"Not exactly in the most conventional way," Mary replied.

Matthew's frown of disappointment now turned into a frown of confusion. Surely if his wife was ill, it would be a serious illness. But, judging by her words, that was not the case.

"I-I don't understand."

Mary nervously chuckled as a small sniffle escaped her lips as a tear ran down her porcelain cheek. Sensing her anxiousness, Matthew walked back over to Mary`s side of the bed, cupping her cheek to wipe away the tears that have fallen. His past frustration was put aside for a moment to coax out the anxiety that Mary was carrying.

"Darling, whatever it is, please tell me," Matthew said. "Because whatever the situation may be, I'm sure my imagination is imagining something far worse."

Mary laughed behind her tears as she looked into Matthew's loving eyes. _Oh, what did I do to deserve this man?_

She placed a hand over the one Matthew rested on her cheek as she drew in a deep breath to release the news that she has kept a secret for the past few days.

"_I'm pregnant, Matthew."_

_To be continued...  
_

* * *

_**Dun dun dun!**__  
_

_**I feel kind of awful that I left it hanging, but I figured that Matthew's reaction would be best suited to your imaginations until the next chapter is posted. But, judging by his great desire to have children (for those of you who are following Downton Abbey right now), I'm sure that his reaction is appropriate for this occasion.  
**_

_**See you for the next chapter!  
**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Author's Note: Hello again!  
**_

_**I apologize for a week without a chapter. School has been keeping me rather occupied, which really only leaves me the weekends to sit down at my computer and write. But, I do hope that you will enjoy this chapter and I do hope that I can manage to squeeze one more chapter before the weekend is over.  
**_

_**Tomorrow is Downton's season finale :( which I am super upset about because it honestly felt like just yesterday when the season premiere aired. What will I watch to procrastinate now?! Anyways! I am very excited to see that this story has received positive reviews! You have no idea how much that means to me, especially because of the fact that this is my first story. I hope that you will all continue to support it and I hope that new supporters will come along on this ride.  
**_

_**And now onto the chapter!  
**_

* * *

_**Previously on First Steps Forward:**_

"…So, you are ill…" Matthew whispered, afraid that his voice would break if he spoke any louder.

"Not exactly in the most conventional way," Mary replied.

Matthew's frown of disappointment now turned into a frown of confusion. Surely if his wife was ill, it would be a serious illness. But, judging by her words, that was not the case.

"I-I don't understand."

Mary nervously chuckled as a small sniffle escaped her lips as a tear ran down her porcelain cheek. Sensing her anxiousness, Matthew walked back over to Mary`s side of the bed, cupping her cheek to wipe away the tears that have fallen. His past frustration was put aside for a moment to coax out the anxiety that Mary was carrying.

"Darling, whatever it is, please tell me," Matthew said. "Because whatever the situation may be, I'm sure my imagination is imagining something far worse."

Mary laughed behind her tears as she looked into Matthew's loving eyes. _Oh, what did I do to deserve this man?_

She placed a hand over the one Matthew rested on her cheek as she drew in a deep breath to release the news that she has kept a secret for the past few days.

"_I'm pregnant, Matthew."_

* * *

"_P-Pregnant?"_

Mary took in a shaky breath and nodded. "…Yes, Matthew. We're expecting our first child."

Matthew was completely stunned. Mary, _his_ Mary, was carrying their first child. His face of astonishment and bafflement was soon replaced with the largest smile he had ever placed on his face. His arms reached out and embraced Mary for a large hug as a nervous laugh got caught in his throat. His eyes glistened slightly, unshed tears of joy, knowing that sometime in the near future, that they were finally going to be blessed with a little son or daughter.

To be honest, Matthew was very concerned that his injuries during the War affected his ability to reproduce. Though Dr. Clarkson had informed that walking was never to be an issue, he did not discuss the matters for when Matthew and Mary wanted to try to conceive. A few months ago, he was very tempted to go see a specialist to see if his past spinal injuries did have an effect. But, having his prayers answered today, Matthew no longer felt the guilt and burden of being nearly infertile.

"Oh, Mary," Matthew beamed as he cupped Mary's cheek and pressed his lips against hers for a loving kiss.

He was enjoying this wonderful news until he felt wet tears brushing his skin that had escaped Mary's eyes. Matthew broke the kiss to see his wife's knees curled up to her chest and her hands covering her face, to lightly muffle her cries. His happiness died off sooner than expected as it was replaced with anxiousness.

"Darling, what's the matter?" Matthew asked, removing one of Mary's hands away from her face to brush off the fallen tears. "Aren't you happy of this news?"

She sniffled. "Of…Of course I'm happy."

The insecurity in her voice did not unnoticed by Matthew as he changed his seat from the chair to the edge of the bed as a means of getting closer to Mary. He held one of Mary's hands with his, while his other hand gently touched her porcelain face, his thumb unconsciously caressing in its place. His hand now moved to the nape of her neck as he pulled her towards his direction, letting their foreheads touch each other, closing in the distance between the couple.

"You say that you are, but Mary, something is bothering you. Whatever it is, please tell me," Matthew murmured as he drew her hand that he was holding closer to his chest.

Mary was silent, with nothing but her soft whimpers filling the bedroom. Matthew was a patient man and did whatever was necessary to get an answer out of Mary, even if it meant staying up the entire night. Luckily, it didn't come to that when he heard Mary's voice.

"…I'm scared."

The innocence and vulnerability in his wife's voice nearly shattered his heart into a million pieces. Those two words conveyed all the fear and anxiety she had about bearing a child. Matthew didn't even need to ask why she was afraid because he already knew the answer to it: _Cousin Sybil_. What seemed to be a day of celebration ended with a tragedy after Sybil had passed away due to eclampsia, where all symptoms were left ignored by the cowardice physician who claimed that it was all part of the labour process. And on the very day the newest addition to the family entered this world, the Crawley's and the Branson's lost a daughter, a wife, and a mother.

Closing his eyes to erase those haunting memories that were engraved into his mind for the rest of his life, Matthew placed a trail of kisses across Mary's neck.

"I will never let that happen to you, Mary," Matthew whispered into her ear. "What happened to…Sybil, will _not_ happen to you."

Mary pulled away from her husband's loving embrace as she drew back to the headboard of the bed.

"How can you assure that?!" she cried. "You can't possibly stop something like that! You can't know if what happened to Sybil won't happen to-"

Mary's words were left unfinished as another wave of tears washed over her. But, Matthew did not need her to finish to know what she was about to say: _You can't know if what happened to Sybil won't happen to __**me**_.

Mary was right.

He _didn't_ know whether or not Mary was going to go through the same horror. And that's what scared him. The even thought of losing her, was _unimaginable_. But, Matthew had to be the strong one. It was his turn to be the storm braver even though on the inside, he was just as scared as Mary was, if not more.

Matthew put on his bravest smile to reassure Mary's anxiety. "I promise…that I will do everything, _everything_, in my power to never let what happened to your sister happen to you. Until this child is born, nothing will ever hurt you or the one you are carrying. I can't…I _won't_ let anything happen."

A broken smile rose upon Mary's lips as they quivered. "Oh, Matthew…"

She lunged forward to embrace her husband who was happy to be at the receiving end. His hands went to smooth her hair as he gently swayed them back and forth like a rocker.

* * *

It was half past midnight; the couple were now cuddled up together in bed, the lights out with nothing but the moonlight seeping through the pale curtains as their source of light. Mary's head was tucked under the crook of Matthew's neck, her arm lightly draped over his lean chest, while his was wrapped protectively around her waist.

"So," Matthew said, breaking the silence of the room, "when shall we be expecting his or her arrival?"

He felt Mary smile. "Dr. Clarkson told me that I should be almost three months gone."

"Already?"

"Apparently so, yes."

"So he or she will be born in December."

"Yes, that's right."

"…A baby."

"There's no need to repeat what's already been said, Matthew."

Matthew chuckled. "I'm sorry. It's just…I can't believe that this is actually happening. After all that time worrying that there might have been something wrong with me and now that it's all coming true…"

Mary lifted her head to look at Matthew, his eyes revealing all of the anxiety he once carried. After all that the two had been through in the last nine years, expecting the arrival of the newest Crawley member was the happiest news they have yet to receive. She planted a soft kiss onto Matthew's lips, who gladly returned the gesture.

"…I know that I don't say this enough but, I do love you, Matthew," Mary quietly spoke, her voice laced with great sincerity.

Matthew felt his heart flutter from Mary's words. He knew of her love and her great ability to love, but he had always wished that Mary would say those three words more often. Matthew curled the loose pieces of hair that had fallen out of Mary's braid back behind her ear.

"I know you do, darling. I know you do."

Matthew leaned in as his lips met Mary's, where the two shared a blissful kiss. Her soft lips felt like velvet and her skin was smooth as silk. He felt Mary shiver from his touch, a reaction that Mary only felt with Matthew. Matthew gently rolled them over so he was now hovering over Mary, but not crushing his weight over her due to her condition. His eyes moved down her body as they stopped at her still flat abdomen, which had yet to show any signs of a baby. Oh, how he couldn't wait to see Mary with a growing belly. Either way, she would look beautiful in him no matter what. The next few months were going to test their strengths with new obstacles and challenges along the way.

The Crawley's have learned from their mistakes with Sybil.

Now it's time to learn how to move forward with their new chance.

He pulled the covers over their bodies as the two explored the world of love and intimacy that could only be found behind closed doors.

* * *

"_The pearls will do just fine, Anna. Thank you."_

Mary looked at her reflection through her vanity mirror as Anna helped clasp her pearl necklace to her neck. She sighed as her pallid complexion stared back at her, a reoccurring symptom ever since the news of her pregnancy. She lightly dusted some blusher across her cheeks as a means of adding some life back into her skin. Adequately satisfied with herself, Mary stood up from her vanity stool and straightened out her dinner dress, the red dress that Matthew had always adored. She went and stood in front of the full-length mirror, turned to her side to view her profile. Her eyes scrolled down to her abdomen, which showed no signs of pregnancy, something Mary was quite relieved to find out.

She and Matthew had decided to announce their news tonight to the entire family. Mary was a little hesitant on revealing her condition for she herself had not known of the pregnancy until just recently as well. But, her anxiety was melted away after seeing Matthew standing so proud and wearing a ridiculous smile on his face all morning, trying to keep it a secret.

He was thrilled about a new addition to the family.

And that was all Mary needed for assurance.

"Is there something wrong, Milady?" Anna asked, noticing that Lady Mary had been staring at her reflection for a prolonged period of time.

Mary returned back to reality and smiled. "No, not at all. I'm just, a little anxious for tonight. Matthew and I are making an announcement at dinner."

Anna smiled. "Do pardon my asking Milady, but…"

"Yes?"

"Are you pregnant, Milady?"

Mary's eyes widened at her maid. "H-How did you know?"

Anna lightly giggled. "I had a hunch. It just seemed to fit what with all your morning sickness and constant tiredness, Milady."

"I see…" Mary quietly mumbled as she walked a couple of steps away from the mirror, before turning around once more to her maid.

"I am very happy for you, Milady," Anna said. "I know that you and Mr. Crawley will be wonderful, loving parents."

"Oh, Anna," Mary smiled as she thanked her friend of many years. "Thank you."

A light knock on the door broke the conversation between the two friends as Matthew walked in, looking exceptionally handsome in his dinner jacket. His hair was immaculately styled back, revealing his cerulean blue eyes glistening with such love and affection.

"Hello, my love. I do hope I'm not interrupting."

Mary smiled. "Of course not, come in. I'll ring for you after dinner, Anna."

"Yes, Milady."

Anna slightly curtsied to Matthew before leaving the room with a smile due to her new knowledge.

"She looked like she was in a good mood," Matthew observed as he walked towards his wife.

"I told her about our news."

Matthew's eyebrow rose slightly as he wrapped his arm around his wife's waist. "Oh, really?"

"Well, actually…she knew. Apparently my constant trips to the bathroom and late-afternoon sleep-ins gave my condition away," Mary explained as she inhaled Matthew's scent.

He chuckled into Mary's neck, where his head gently rested before placing kiss on her cheek and retreating back.

"Are you ready for this evening?"

"As ready as one could ever be when announcing to their family of a new child on the way," Mary replied.

Matthew nodded understandingly. He could sense his wife's nervousness with her wavering eyes and rigid posture.

She looked up. "Do…Do you think that it's too soon?"

It took a few seconds for Matthew to understand what Mary was referring to. To be quite honest, he hadn't really thought about it. It has been six months since Sybil had left the family, six months since the tragedy had pulled the clouds down on Downton Abbey. _Was it all too soon? _Are the members of the Crawley household ready to face another birth of a child? Matthew was not certain about these questions. But, what he did know was that he and Mary would love this child with all of their hearts and that the rest would follow when they were ready to brave the storm.

"Everybody has their own pace to recovery, my darling," Matthew responded. "Losing a loved one requires a long term of grievance. But I know, without a doubt in my mind, that when everybody has come to terms with acceptance, they will welcome and love this child just as much as we will."

Mary's chest suddenly felt so much lighter after hearing those words. "You always seem to know the right words to say, Matthew."

"After 11 years, I think I've almost mastered how to make you happy," Matthew smiled. "Now, we mustn't be late for dinner, darling. Everybody is already downstairs."

* * *

Dinner went smoothly, like any other night. Cousin Violet and Mrs. Crawley had been invited over to Downton Abbey for the news, but Mary and Matthew had decided to make the announcement after the main course. Mary had been picking at her dessert with her fork, while her other hand had been held by Matthew's from underneath the table. His warmth helped her to calm down while the time drew closer.

"Mary, darling, how are you feeling?" Cora asked from across the table. "You didn't eat much tonight and you look absolutely exhausted."

"I do hope that it's nothing too serious," Robert commented, noticing his daughter's rather drawn complexion.

"Have you gone to see Dr. Clarkson?" Isobel asked. "It wouldn't be a terribly idea for you to make an appointment."

"Actually," Matthew spoke, "we, Mary and I, have some news to share with you all."

The table hushed as they waited for the young man to speak.

"Well, speak up, my dear boy," Cousin Violet said. "It is rude to keep a lady waiting."

Matthew lightly smiled. "Yes, well…" He looked to his side to see Mary, who lightly nodded her head at approval. He turned back to the rest of the family who anxiously waited for his announcement. "You see, Mary and I are happy to inform you that…Mary is expecting our first child and the baby will be due in December."

The silence was deafening. Everybody's posture turned stiff, their eyes widened with surprise. Mary gulped, seeing as the family's reaction was not exactly what she had hoped for. Actually, it was her _worst_ nightmare. Everybody had stopped what they were doing, even Edith, as they all stared at the couple like being turned to stone after seeing Medusa.

"Congratulations."

Mary and Matthew turned their heads to hear Tom's voice as he followed through with a slight nod and a reassuring smile.

"You two are going to be fine parents," he added.

Mary smiled, "Thank you, Tom."

It was Cora's turn to finally allow the information to sink in and let her worried state melt away into excitement. Her second grandchild! Oh, how she had waited for this day. Despite the tragedy behind her youngest daughter's death, Cora was not going to let that affect this joyous occasion. It was still going to require time to accept that night, but she was willing to learn.

"Oh Mary, I am so happy for you and Matthew," she said. "It's about time that some good news came upon this house."

"Well, I suppose this deserves a toast," Robert said with a smile. Even he was excited for the arrival of his second grandchild. He held up his glass of wine. "To the new parents-to-be."

Everybody else raised their glasses and took a sip as Mary's tension subsided, relieved to hear that her family was content. As Matthew went to sit back down, he leaned towards Mary.

"You can relax now," he quietly said. "The hard part is over. Now all we have to do is wait."

Mary weakly smiled as she looked over at her husband who still carried his cheeky smile that he had all day. And now that the secret had been revealed, Matthew's contentment magnified even more.

Matthew was right.

Telling everybody was the hard part. Mary was afraid of her family's reaction to the news. Despite the awkward silence at the beginning, everybody eventually warmed up and congratulated the happy couple. But, deep down inside, Mary knew that everybody was still a little fearful at the risk of experiencing another loss.

But, Mary had all of her loved ones.

And that was enough reassurance to pull through.

* * *

It was after dinner as Robert had entered his bedroom after changing out of his dinner jacket in his dressing room. He saw his wife, Cora, by her vanity as she smoothed some lotion onto her hands. It had appeared O'Brien had been sent off to bed for Cora had been already dressed into her nightgown and her hair braided off to the side. Cora saw Robert's reflection from her vanity mirror and weakly smiled.

"Can you believe it?" she said. "Mary and Matthew having a baby…"

Robert shut the door to his dressing up and walked towards the bed. "No…the idea is still whirling around my head."

Cora turned around on her stool and looked at her husband. "I feel the same way."

"Hmm…"

Cora sensed Robert's mind drifting off into the land of worry and anxiety.

"Nothing is going to happen to Mary, Robert."

Lord Grantham's eyes shifted off from the floor to his wife. His throat had got caught in his throat, making it waver in fright. "I…I'm not going to let what happened to…_Sybil_, happen to Mary. I won't allow it."

Cora's eyes saddened, seeing Robert so hurt and broken while reminiscing of the past. "What…What happened to Sybil wasn't your fault, Robert. You know that. Dr. Clarkson said so himself. But, I know you are going to do everything you can to prevent anything from happening to Mary. She will have you, Matthew, and the rest of us to be by her side when the time comes."

Robert sniffled as he let his eyes glisten with tears that he refused to fall. "She's going to have the best care given to her. I will see to it as my duty that Mary does."

"I know."

"And I'm going to make Downton as comfortable as possible for when the baby arrives."

"I know you will."

"…And…And I'm going to be the father to Mary _and _Edith that I wasn't when Sybil was still here."

"Oh, Robert…" Cora whispered quietly. "You were always the father that the girls had always wanted. They may not have shown it, but they know of your love and your wishes to give them what is best."

Robert weakly smiled. "I don't know what I did to deserve you."

Cora stood up from her vanity stool and took a seat beside her husband, leaning her head against his shoulder. "We're going to get through this. _All_ of us are going to get through this. We just have to take things one step at a time."

_Just one step at a time…_

* * *

_**Author's Note: I feel like this story was a little choppy because there were so many different scenes, but I didn't think it was all that necessary to integrate the entire day into this chapter. I also added a little bit of a Robert/Cora scene just because as the parents who have already experienced the loss of a child, their anxiety needed to be shown. **  
_

_**I hope you all enjoyed the chapter and I shall see you for Chapter 4!  
**_

_**Cheers!  
**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Author's Note: Hello!**_

_**Here is the latest installment of **_**First Steps Forward**_**, which I hope you will all enjoy. I can't express my gratitude and joy of all the positive feedback that I have received from this story. You have no idea how much it means to me that you are willing to come on this journey.**_

_**As for the story itself, I'm trying not to follow the same plot-line that you see in the third series of Downton Abbey, but I do try to incorporate bits and pieces of it, but not everything. Hence, it will be different from the actual story itself.**_

_**Anyways! Now onto the chapter! Hope you enjoy!**_

* * *

"_Really, Matthew, you didn't have to leave work in the middle of the day to accompany me. It's only a monthly check-up."_

Nearly three weeks have passed since announcing the pregnancy to the family. Mary was still struggling against morning sickness and exhaustion, but Dr. Clarkson had said that it was perfectly normal in the early stages. She had come up to Ripon for a monthly check-up with their family doctor, an appointment that had been booked since her previous visit. Mary had informed Matthew of this appointment the night before and he had immediately suggested that he would accompany her to the hospital.

"I just want to know that everything is alright," Matthew replied, as he held his wife back as an automobile drove past them. "And I've already taken the afternoon off from work. So, I'm afraid you'll be stuck with my company whether you like it or not."

"I could've told you afterwards," Mary said, as the two walked side-by-side across the street to reach the front gates of the hospital. "Leaving the office early was not necessary."

Matthew held his wife's hand and gently kissed it. "I want to be a part of this journey as much as I can, even if it means attending every single one of these monthly appointments. So _spare _me for wanting to be involved in this beautiful journey together. We're in this together, remember?"

Mary felt her heart flutter after hearing Matthew's response. It touched her greatly that he wanted to be involved in this process with her. To be quite honest, today's appointment made her slightly anxious, but being Mary, she didn't want to show her anxiousness in front of anyone. But, now having Matthew by her side, it made her slightly more comfortable.

The two walked up to Dr. Clarkson's office, where he ushered them inside and closed the door behind them.

"Do sit down Mr. Crawley, Lady Mary," Dr. Clarkson said. "And how are you coping with everything so far, Lady Mary? I see that you're starting show your condition."

Mary sat down on one of the two chairs that were across from Dr. Clarkson's desk. Underneath her maroon jacket was a small, but prominent bump that had grown in the last three weeks. Every night, Matthew would talk to it in hopes that the baby would respond. Though all of this was very exciting for the new parents-to-be, Mary was a little upset at the fact she would no longer be able to wear any of her current wardrobe much longer. On her way over to Ripon, she had trouble just trying to find something that fit.

"Alright, I suppose. I'm still experiencing morning sickness, then slight nausea throughout the day, and want to do nothing more but to rest in bed all day."

Dr. Clarkson smiled as he jotted her symptoms down on some paper. "Good, good. Well, those are all very common during this stage of pregnancy. But, I do expect that your morning sickness will subside within the next couple of weeks. But, I must _stress_ that you must listen to your body and rest if you are experiencing any exhaustion or dizziness. You may be over-exerting yourself and we want to keep this pregnancy a healthy one."

Mary nodded at the doctor's instructions.

"Is there anything I can do to make things more comfortable for her?" Matthew asked.

"Nothing overly-strenuous. You just need to be aware if Lady Mary is pushing herself too hard, and make sure she is eating well and drinking plenty of fluids," Dr. Clarkson informed. "Now, I suppose we should get started on the check-up. Now if you'll please follow me, Lady Mary."

The three members of the room walked over to the cot bed that was sitting over at one corner of the room, where a white curtain was drawn back in case privacy was desired. Mary sat down on the bed with Matthew holding her hand. Dr. Clarkson had pulled out a pressure cuff from a drawer and began wrapping it around Mary's slender arm.

"Your blood pressure is slightly lower than I would like it to be," Dr. Clarkson said as he took the pressure cuff off. "But, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Rest and a good meal should do the trick."

"So, it's not a sign of...pre-eclampsia?" Matthew timidly asked, his voice slightly wavering at the sensitive subject.

Dr. Clarkson's mood turned more serious from the new father-to-be's concern. "I understand your great concern, Mr. Crawley and I will do everything in my power to prevent those events from reoccurring. But, it is still too early to detect any signs of pre-eclampsia, but when nearing the 20th week, I will ask Lady Mary for monthly urine and blood samples for precautionary measures, with the discretion given by Lady Mary herself, of course."

Mary's grip on Matthew's hand slightly tightened as she took in a deep breath. "Of course. I am under your full cooperation, Dr. Clarkson."

"That's good to hear."

Dr. Clarkson wrote down a couple of more notes down. Mary looked up at Matthew who weakly smiled back and placed a kiss on her forehead. Mary's eyes closed at the touch and felt a slight feeling of reassurance. Now that she thought about it, Matthew's stubbornness has done some good to her. For Mary couldn't imagine how this appointment would have gone without Matthew's presence by her side.

"Well, I'd say that things are running very smoothly as of right now," Dr. Clarkson informed with a smile. "I do hope to see you in another month. Shall I reckon that Mr. Crawley will be accompanying you again?"

"Of course I will be there," Matthew responded.

"Excellent. Then, I shall see the both of you next month."

"Thank you, Dr. Clarkson," Mary said.

Matthew helped Mary off the cot bed and helped her back into her jacket after having it removed for her check-up. The two walked out of the office hand-in-hand for some afternoon tea.

* * *

Knowing that most of family was out of the house to do their own personal errands, Edith decided to visit London to briefly stop by the newspaper office to review her article for the next week's papers and then quite possibly get a little bit of shopping down before returning back to Downton. Having already gone to the office, Edith strolled down the bustling streets of London, with a small bag in hand. Inside, the bag contained a sage green baby blanket that she had seen on a display case for a baby shop. Thinking it would be a nice little gift for the new baby, she had purchased it without much thought.

At nearly half past twelve, she entered a little café not too far from the shop to have some afternoon tea. She sat by the window as a server came to take her order. While she waited, Edith watched the streets, observing the people that briskly walked past the café windows.

"Lady Edith?"

Edith turned around at the call of her voice and saw a familiar man, walking her way.

"Mr. Napier!" Edith replied as she stood up from her seat. "How lovely it is to see you."

Evelyn Napier smiled, "Not as lovely as it is to see you. But, please. Call me Evelyn."

Edith smiled.

"Are you waiting for an expected company, or may I join you in for some tea?" Evelyn asked.

"Not at all, do sit down," Edith ushered.

Evelyn sat down on the empty seat that was available across from Edith, just in time for her tea and biscuits to arrive. Edith excused the waiter and asked for another set of china for her company. When the waiter returned, Evelyn offered to pour the tea for both Edith and him, which Edith was very touched by his gentlemanly gesture.

"So, how are you?" Edith asked as she poured some milk into her tea. "How has life treated you after the war?"

Evelyn put a small smile on his face before setting down the pot of tea. "The war has changed me for I have seen and done things that I will forever carry on my shoulders. I am thankful that I am one of the very few who have returned without harm."

"Well, it's wonderful to see you unharmed," Edith apologized while absent-mindedly stirring her tea with the small spoon.

"And how is everybody at Downton?" Evelyn asked, taking a sip of tea. "Are your sisters doing well?"

A saddened smile fell on Edith's lips as her gaze fell upon the white cloth that spread over the table. Her hands slightly fidgeted with the teacup in her hand, her thumbs gently caressing the china. "Mary is doing quite alright. She had Matthew had gotten married last year and they're expecting their first child in December. As for Sybil, she passed away not too long ago to eclampsia. Apparently there was no way to save her."

"How foolish of me…" Evelyn murmured. "I'm so sorry for bringing up such a sensitive subject."

"Nonsense, you couldn't have known," she replied, taking another tentative sip of her tea. "None of us could…"

Trying to lighten the mood up again, Evelyn asked, "And how have you been doing?"

"Well, I'm currently working as a journalist for a newspaper column. I quite enjoy the idea of a woman's voice being heard for a change."

"It's wonderful to see that you're doing so well for yourself despite all of the terrible things that has happened."

"Yes, well…one must be optimistic after a week of rain," Edith replied.

Evelyn lightly chuckled. "Well I think that man is a fool for leaving you."

Edith felt a blush creeping up her cheeks. "Oh, I wouldn't say that."

"You're a smart and beautiful woman, Lady Edith," Evelyn replied, with sincerity laced in his voice. "You're confidence exceeds that of many men I know and your independence has increased greatly since the last time I saw you."

Edith looked up from her china to see Evelyn smiling at her. "The last time a man showered me with such wonderful compliments ended up jilting me at the altar."

"Well, I can assure you that I don't have intentions on leaving your company today," Evelyn replied. "…Unless you state otherwise."

"I'm very fond of your company Mr. Napier-"

"Please, Evelyn will do just fine."

Edith lightly giggled. _Today was going to be a fun day._

* * *

"This should buck you up."

Mary smiled as she watched Matthew pour two cups of tea in each respective china cup as he slightly pushed a cup towards her. She willingly accepted it and poured some milk into it. They were currently in a tearoom just a few blocks from the hospital, deciding they would stop by before heading back to Downton for dinner.

Though her appetite has not returned back to its normal state, Mary was grateful that tea was one of the few things she was able to keep down.

"Well, I thought that the appointment went rather well wouldn't you say, darling?" Matthew commented.

Mary nodded. "Yes, I'm quite relieved that there are no current complications." She absent-mindedly caressed her small belly that was covered by her light coat.

"Has the baby been making you uncomfortable whenever I'm not home?" Matthew asked.

"Not really," Mary replied, taking a tentative sip of her tea. "But, I have been taking more frequent afternoon naps. I suppose the morning sickness and the whole prospect of a child growing inside of me wears me out sooner than usual."

Matthew smiled, recalling all the times he has returned home from work to find Mary peacefully sleeping in bed – _their_ bed. He never had the heart to wake her and would wait for her welcome just a few moments before the dressing gong rang. Mary was giving him the gift of a family, and that was more than he could ever ask for.

"…Matthew?"

Matthew returned back to reality by Mary's voice calling to him.

"Yes, my darling?"

Matthew watched his wife as Mary looked down at her china and gently caressed its smooth surface. He could tell that something had crossed her mind, something worth concerning over.

"…What if our firstborn isn't a boy?" Mary asked, her voice quivering slightly. "Wou-…Would you still fight for our child even if it's a girl?"

"Oh Mary…" Matthew whispered as he reached over the table that separated him from Mary and went to grasp one of her hands. He watched her look across the table apprehensively, clearly worried about the response he was going to have. "I'd still love the child whether they are a boy or a girl as long as they're healthy. I don't care if we have a whole lot of girls, knowing that they'd be just as beautiful as their mother."

Mary chuckled through the tears that were threatening to fall.

"But, if it were a girl, I would without a doubt in mind, fight for her even harder to get what she deserves."

Mary's emotions could not be contained as she pulled out her silk handkerchief from her purse and lightly dabbed the corners of her eyes to catch her tears. If it were ten years ago, Mary would never forgive herself for crying in the public eye.

"I'm sorry for being so emotional," she sniffled. "The pregnancy seems to be making me worry over even the tiniest of things. This is all quite embarrassing."

"There is nothing to be embarrassed about, my darling," Matthew reassured. "Hopefully your cup of tea will make you feel better."

Mary obliged and took a sip of the sweet liquid and lightly sighed at its comforting taste. Matthew was right. The tea seemed to be helping with her mood for it felt like the large weight she was carrying on her shoulders was relieved. It also seemed to alert her of her current famished state. Mary had missed breakfast and lunch due to her nauseated state and this tea was the only thing she has had today.

"Matthew?"

Matthew set his tea cup down. "Yes, dear?"

Mary twiddled with her thumbs, feeling heat creep up her neck, slightly embarrassed to ask. "Do you…think we could order some…" she mumbled.

Matthew frowned slightly, unable to hear Mary's request. He leaned over the table slightly, but despite his efforts, his wife was speaking too softly for him to comprehend what she had said.

"I'm sorry, darling," Matthew apologized. "Could you speak up a bit? I couldn't quite hear you."

He watched Mary's cheek flush with a rosy tint, showing her discomfort.

"I asked…" she took a deep breath before continuing. "I asked if we could order some scones or some sweet biscuits."

Matthew's concern was soon washed away with a light chuckle after watching his wife squirm in her seat over a small request.

"Of course we can!" Matthew responded. "We can order both if that is what you desire. Are you experiencing a craving?"

Mary lightly blushed. "Well, I have yet to eat anything today because I was feeling nauseated all morning. But, I feel much better now and think I could stomach a little bit of something. But, I do desire for something sweet."

Matthew smiled at Mary's explanation. Mary was never one to crave sweet cakes or treats for he was the one that had the sweet tooth. And knowing that she was now experiencing a craving for sweets, it made Matthew's heart soar that their child, a representation of their love, would be a combination of both him and Mary.

He raised his hand to signal a nearby waiter to fulfill Mary's request. "Waiter?"

* * *

"_Mary, may I come in?"_

Mary was at her dresser, applying some lotion on her hands when she heard her younger sister, Edith, at the door. Dinner had ended not too long ago and Mary was preparing herself for bed even though it was still early in the evening. Retiring early has become a frequent routine now that she has nearly halfway through the pregnancy.

"Yes, you may."

Mary watched Edith enter the room, still dressed in her dinner dress with a white bag in hand. Mary turned around in her vanity stool and faced her sister who walked towards the bed.

"So, I heard you had gone to London for the day," Mary commented. "How was it?"

Edith sat down on a chair by Mary's vanity dresser. "It was lovely. I stopped by the newspaper office and did a little bit of shopping."

"I can see that."

Edith smiled as she looked down at the bag before offering it to her elder sister. Mary looked at it with slight confusion.

"What's this?" she asked, accepting the white bag that was nicely packaged with mauve tissue paper.

"It was on display at a boutique in London," Edith replied. "I thought it would be a nice little early baby gift for when he or she arrives."

Mary opened the bag and revealed the sage green baby blanket Edith had seen. The material felt so soft and silky against Mary's touch as it rippled upon her lap.

"This was unnecessary," Mary said. "But, thank you, Edith. I'm sure he or she will love it."

Despite their rough past, Mary and Edith have become more civil towards one another. They have already lost their better third. So, they agreed to cherish each other's company until they were grey in the head.

"I also ran into Evelyn Napier today," Edith added.

"Oh?" Mary responded with curiosity as she folded the blanket neatly before placing it back into the bag. Despite their status of almost being each other's fiancé/fiancée, Mary still kept in contact with Evelyn, even after the war through letters. It had been a while since they had last spoken, but the last time Mary recalled, Evelyn did mention something about living in London. "Where did you see him?"

"At the café that Aunt Rosamund showed us the last time we went to go visit her. I stopped by to have some afternoon tea and he was there as well. He approached me and I offered to have tea together."

"That sounds lovely."

"It was," Edith replied with a smile. "He invited me to dinner next week in London."

"Did you accept his offer?" Mary asked.

"I have to discuss it with Mama and Papa, but I think I will agree to it, yes."

"Do be careful, Edith," Mary said, with great genuine concern. "I know we've had our differences in the past, I do worry for you. Evelyn is a wonderful man who could make you very happy, but I don't want the past to repeat itself."

Edith looked down at her fingers before looking back to her sister with a weak smile. "I will. Thank you, Mary."

A knock on the door interrupted the sisters as Matthew entered, looking very handsome in his dinner jacket.

"Am I interrupting?" he asked.

"Not at all," Edith said as she stood up from her seat. "I was just leaving. Good night, Mary."

"Good night."

"Good night, Cousin Matthew."

"Good night, Cousin Edith."

Matthew shuffled over to the side to let Edith out of the room as she closed the door to give the couple some privacy. Matthew walked over towards Mary as he gave a loving kiss on the lips before taking a seat in the chair Edith previously occupied.

"So, what was Cousin Edith doing in here?" he asked.

"She bought a blanket for the baby while she was in London today," Mary replied.

"Well that was awfully kind of her."

Mary nodded. "And she also told me that she ran into Evelyn Napier. They conversed over tea and apparently he invited her to dinner next week."

"New courtship?"

Mary shrugged. "I don't know. But, I do hope that Edith will be careful. We may not be the closest sisters, but I do worry for her."

Matthew smiled at Mary's recent care and affection for her sister. "Edith has had her fair share of heartbreak and disappointment. I'm sure she will know what is best."

"I wonder…"

Matthew stood up from his seat and knelt down in front of Mary, taking one of her hands in his, while his other hand moved towards her growing belly. His hand made small circular motions, like he was massaging it. Mary smiled at her husband as he affectionately looked at her protruding stomach, one that was only going to grow in the next few months.

"…William or Elizabeth…"

Mary raised an eyebrow, slightly confused at Matthew's sudden list of names.

"I'm sorry?"

Matthew looked up with a tender smile. "Names…I'm thinking of names for the baby: William if it's a boy and Elizabeth if it's a girl."

Mary felt tears arising at the very thought that Matthew had already begun to think of names for their unborn child. His great desire to be involved throughout the entire pregnancy has touched Mary for he has been with her through the highs and lows. Whether it be giving her a massage when her back was sore or holding her hair and rubbing her back while she went sick in the bathroom in the middle of the night, Matthew was right by her side.

"Unless…you don't like those names…" Matthew quietly said, disrupting Mary's thoughts.

Mary shook her head as she smiled. "I quite like both. William or Elizabeth…I think they're both beautiful names."

Matthew's slightly discouraged face dissipated after hearing Mary's approval as his smile grew once again. His eyes went back to her stomach before he started talking to it.

"I can't wait to meet you, little one. You haven't exactly been making things easy for your mother…"

Mary chuckled.

"You've been making her very ill lately and you tire her out before I can even say good night to her. I love your mother very much and it pains me that I can't be of much help whenever she feels sick. So, please be better to her. But, I can assure you that she is enjoying this experience as much as I am, if not more. I pray every day that your arrival will be a safe one and that both you and your mother will be healthy by the end of this journey."

Mary smiled at Matthew once more as she realized how perfect everything was turning out. After nearly a year of worrying, they have finally been blessed with a child. But, at the very back of her mind, she couldn't help but to think that something was going to shatter their perfect world.

Happiness is only temporary.

It was only a matter of time before their joy was going to be clouded by a shower of bad news.

_It was only a matter of time…_

* * *

**_A/N: What kind of "bad luck" do you think Mary is feeling? Will it affect Mary and Matthew's happiness? I suppose you'll have to continue to support to find out._**

**_I hope you enjoyed this chapter as I had much fun writing it. I do hope that you will continue to support this story and reviews would be much appreciated. It gives me a good idea of where I should go with this story._**

**_I feel like Tom hasn't been in this story much, so he may appear (and Sybbie!) in chapters to come! So be on the lookout for that._**

**_Hope to see you for the next chapter!_**

**_Cheers!_**


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: Hello again!**_

_**I deeply apologize for the rather prolonged hiatus of chapter 5. School got the best of me and caught me with midterms, projects, and quizzes. Fortunately, I am free from those grips until exams come their way, meaning I finally had the time to finish this chapter. Thank you for being patient with me! And I can't express my deepest gratitude to all of those who are following/commenting this story. It really means a lot to me.**_

_**In this chapter, you will find a scene that is similar to a scene that you may have seen on television, but again, I'm kind of following my own plotline, so hence there was a little tweaking involved.**_

_**Anyways! I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Again, sorry for the wait!**_

* * *

"_Anna, would you mind bringing some sugar?"_

It was a beautiful summer afternoon, the sun at its highest peak of the day, and Mary, along with Edith and Cora decided to have tea together out on the lawn. It was nearing September, meaning the weather was bound to change for the season and the ladies wanted to take advantage of the remaining weeks of this beautiful weather. They sat under a pitched tent that shaded them as Anna and Mr. Carson stood by the side to see to the ladies' requests. Robert, on the other hand, had to discuss matters on the estate with Matthew, Tom, and Mr. Murray back inside the house.

Edith raised an eyebrow at her elder sister, slightly confused at Mary's rather unfamiliar request.

"You never used to put sugar in your tea," Edith commented as she watched Mary spoon some sugar into her milky tea.

Mary sighed. "I know I don't, but it seems that it is the only way I can enjoy my tea nowadays. Matthew finds it rather endearing that I seem to be taking on his sweet tooth, but I find it a rather pain. Maintaining my weight is not going to be possible if my sweet endeavors continue like this."

Edith lightly giggled.

Mary raised an eyebrow. "I don't see what is so funny. With the way you and Evelyn are going at it, I'd say that you might become like me in the near future."

"Speaking of which, how did dinner go with Evelyn Napier?" Cora asked, excited to hear that her second child was finally moving on from her past heartbreak with Anthony Strallen.

Two nights ago, Edith had gone up to London at the request of Evelyn Napier to dine with him for dinner. It was a lovely evening, where the two conversed for what seemed like hours under the romantic, dim lighting of candles and a lovely dinner courtesy of Mr. Napier's cook.

Edith set down her cup of tea on her lap and she smiled. "It was quite lovely, actually. He wished to see me again sometime in the near future. He even asked if he could come to Downton to visit."

"Of course he can," Cora responded. "He is always welcomed. He could visit when we host the cricket match that marks the end of the season."

"Thank you, Mama," Edith said. "I shall inform Evelyn of his welcome."

"Evelyn?" Mary questioned with a teasing smirk on her face. "I wasn't aware that you two were on a first-name basis."

Edith slightly blushed after realizing her rather informal approach. "He…He insisted I should call him by first name only. It must have worked."

Cora lovingly smiled at her two daughters, finally both happy and getting along like two sisters should. Over the eleven years, they have gained new experiences that have taught them to grow and mature into the two beautiful women. With a second grandchild, and high hopes of a final wedding, it seemed to Cora that everything was finally working out for her daughters.

"And how's the baby, Mary?" Cora asked.

Upon hearing the word 'baby,' Mary instinctively placed a hand on her small stomach, gently rubbing it as a means of comfort. "Very well. Dr. Clarkson says that we are both healthy now that my appetite is starting to improve. My blood pressure is a little low, but everything else seems to be fine. He still wishes I put on a little bit more weight, but even a pregnant lady should look her best."

Edith and Cora chuckled at Mary's naivety.

"Well, do listen to Dr. Clarkson's orders," Cora instructed. "You were never one to follow rules or listen to anyone's orders. But, you aren't thinking for yourself anymore, Mary dear. You also have a little baby to think about."

Mary nodded. "Yes, I know."

The ladies all took a pause to take a sip of their tea.

"So, how's Papa dealing with all the new changes for Downton?" Mary asked

Cora sighed. "You know, your father. He's taking things much too seriously and putting too much stress on himself when there isn't a need for it."

"Poor, Papa…" Edith murmured.

"Poor, Papa?" Mary questioned as she placed her china cup on the table before her. "Feel sorry for Mr. Murray. He's the one in the middle of all the quarreling between Papa and Matthew. Speaking of which, Carson, may I ask where Papa, Matthew, and the others are?"

"They are in the library, Milady," Carson replied.

"Thank you."

"Are you going back into the house to see them?" Edith said.

"Briefly," Mary nodded. "I want to make sure Matthew and Papa aren't ripping each other's limbs off before I take a nap. This heat is making me dreadfully tired, much more than usual. Anna, can I meet you in my bedroom to change?"

"Of course, Milady," Anna curtsied before heading back into Downton to meet Lady Mary's request.

"Be careful," Cora warned with a smile. "There's no need for you to trouble yourself with all of this. You already have enough to worry about."

Mary smiled back at her mother before walking back into the house. She had just reached the door to the library, which was left opened, to hear her father and Matthew arguing. She lightly winced at the increasing volume and anger that was arising within the library.

"Now, Harry Stoke has gone in with a bund-"

"Then Harry Stoke, whoever he is, is a fool!" Matthew interrupted bitterly.

"But, if I could find out-"

Matthew rose from his seat. "Robert, the last time you took an interest in investment, you ruined the family!"

Fearing the worst of this conversation, Mary took graceful strides into the library to interject.

"I do hope I'm not interrupting."

At the sound of Mary's voice, Matthew, Robert, Tom, and Mr. Murray all turned their heads to the entrance of the library. Matthew's eyes had widened at the presence of his wife. _Mary._ He walked towards where his wife stood and gave a light peck on the cheek to welcome her presence.

"Darling, what are you doing here? I thought you were having tea outside with the others," Matthew said.

"I was, but the heat was making me rather tired, so I came back inside to take an afternoon nap. I wanted to see how things were coming along before heading upstairs," Mary explained. "But, judging by all the shouting, things are not going as smoothly as one would hope."

"It's nothing for you to worry about, dear," Matthew insured. "We were just discussing-"

"I think this discussion is over," Robert interrupted. "I think it's rather clear that my input is not needed for your plans for Downton."

"Robert, that is not true-"

"Now, if you'll excuse me…"

Everyone watched as Robert walked out of the library with a heavy step in his heel, clearly frustrated and angered by the new changes Matthew had on the estate. Matthew shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose before heaving a sigh. He was well aware of the possibility of upsetting Robert, but he did not expect things to go so poorly. He did not want to anger Cousin Robert. No, he wanted to do quite the opposite. Matthew wanted to show Cousin Robert that his decision of choosing Matthew as the new heir to Downton was the right decision. But, clearly, these future changes were not exactly taken that way by the Earl of Grantham. Matthew felt a lace, gloved hand touch his left cheek, making him open his eyes to meet Mary's chocolate brown ones. She had a small smile on her face, one of encouragement and hope.

"I'm sorry you had to hear all of that," Matthew apologized. "You shouldn't be in the middle of all this. Dr. Clarkson even said that stress is not good for you or the baby."

"Don't you worry about me," Mary responded. "I'm much stronger than you think. I'm your stormbraver, remember?"

Matthew lightly chuckled. "Yes, yes you are."

Mary sighed. "In any matter, I wouldn't worry too much about Papa. I'm sure he will come through and accept your proposal. You're only trying to do what's best for Downton, and I'm sure he knows it. He just needs time. I'll even talk to him, personally."

"Darling, that is not necessary-"

"No. I want to do it," Mary insisted. "But, I will only talk to him if it is absolutely necessary."

Matthew took Mary's hands and kissed them, all the while wondering how on earth he managed to snub her. If anything, _she _was _his _rock during the storm. He looked back at Tom and Mr. Murray before slightly nodding.

"Well, I suppose this meeting is adjourned until another day," Matthew said. "Mr. Murray, I shall see you out."

"Thank you, Mr. Crawley, but it is quite alright. I believe I can manage myself out," Murray replied as he took his hat and gloves before tipping his hat towards Mary. "It was lovely to see you, Lady Mary."

"The pleasure is all mine," she replied.

The three watched as Murray left the library to be escorted out by one of the footmen. Tom, who was sitting on a couch, picked himself up and straightened out his jacket.

"I should go check up on little Sybil," he replied.

"How is she doing by the way?" Mary asked with a smile.

Tom responded to his sister-in-law's kindness. "She's doing very well. In fact, she's learned to crawl and is starting to drive the nanny mad. …She's becoming to look like her mother every day."

"That's wonderful," she replied. "Well, we'll leave you to it. I'm sure little Sybil doesn't like being away from her father all too long."

With a small nod, Tom left the library, leaving Matthew and Mary alone. They were left in each other's embrace, before Mary let out a tired sigh.

"I shall see you before dinner," she said. "I really must go lie down. The little one has drained me…makes me wonder what they'll be like outside the womb."

Matthew chuckled as he lovingly rubbed his wife's belly. "Shall I ring Anna for you?"

"No, she's already waiting for me upstairs," Mary replied.

She moved up for a kiss, letting the softness of Matthew's lips overlap hers. When she parted, Mary stroked the bangs of Matthew's hair that had fallen after the heated argument with her father.

"Do understand that my father is only acting like this out of concern. You know my father, he is rather against change, but it seems as though everything has changed since the War. Please don't fight with him. I care for both of you and as much as I'm on your team, you must know that I love and respect my father dearly. He was always the one who understood me and we're similar in more ways I can count and it would crush me to know that the two of you cannot get pass this."

Matthew sighed before stealing another couple of kisses from Mary. "We will get past this. Don't worry about this. You have enough on your plate to be worrying over the estate matters."

"You're beginning to sound like my mother," Mary teased.

"Well, we wouldn't want that," Matthew chuckled.

* * *

Despite Matthew's assertion that he and Robert would come to a mutual agreement, the discussion about the estate was still a hostile environment for both and for the rest of the family. Every time Mary heard the two discussing about the estate and its future, she would hear their voices getting gradually louder and louder. Matthew kept insuring her that she needn't stress about this situation, but not being involved in their conversations made Mary even more at unease causing her to stress about the subject even more.

A week had passed since the first argument, and Mary was sitting up in bed, waiting for Matthew to return from his dressing room. Her hands played with her braid, her eyes gazing absent-mindedly across the room. She heard a door opening and saw Matthew with his dressing robe wrapped around his figure as he walked towards his side of the bed. He slipped the robe off and set it to the side as he slipped in, gathering his wife in his embrace.

"Darling, you're feeling rather cold," Matthew stated as he lightly shivered from Mary's cool skin.

"Well, then I have you to warm me up," Mary replied as she snuggled closer in attempts to garner more body heat from Matthew. "But, the nights are getting pretty chilly. Remind me to ask Anna to bring out the heavier duvet."

She felt the vibrations of Matthew chuckling when she placed her head against his chest. She felt him rubbing soothing circles across her back, something Matthew had been doing very often in any attempts to ease some back pain and discomfort Mary had been experiencing lately. With her stomach becoming larger, she has become less mobile due to the back pain she suffers if standing or walking for prolonged periods of time. But, every night, Matthew would give her small back rubs, something Mary used to do to Matthew when he used to have lower back pains due to his injury from the War. It was these little gestures that Matthew did that Mary appreciated the most. But, the biggest discomfort Mary was experiencing was the hostile relationship between her husband and her father. Arguing seemed to be the only conversations they had recently and it tore Mary's heart to see the two important men in her life not speaking to each other.

With a small sigh, Mary said, "…I'd like to be at the next meeting about the estate, Mama, too."

"Darling, it's nothing for you to worry abou-"

Mary sat up from her position to look into Matthew's eyes. "But, it is! I can't bear standing here and watch you and Papa constantly fight about the estate! Being there will possibly help me understand what the situation is and what we can do to compromise. Mama is not enjoying this constant quarrel between the two of you either. Perhaps if there were more people at your discussions, the environment will remain relatively calm."

Matthew reached up and gently caressed his wife's face, feeling the coolness of her skin against his warm hand. "…I've been making you worry."

She nodded. "More than I would be if you would let me sit in these meetings."

"I just don't see what could come of it," Matthew confessed. "And with the baby on the way…I just wanted to keep you safe."

Mary smiled. "And you are. But, keeping me away from this is not keeping me safe. I love you very much, but I love Papa very dearly, too. And I just can't possibly choose if you ask me to take a side, Matthew. I just can't!"

Much to Matthew's disdain, he finally relented. "Alright, you may sit in the next meeting. But, do understanding that I'm only trying to-"

"-do what's best for our future," Mary completed. "Yes, I know, darling. And thank you for understanding."

With a weak smile, Matthew motioned Mary back into his embrace, which she fully undoubtedly obliged and nuzzled close to his chest. Matthew stretched his arm to turn off the lights and let the room be immersed in darkness, with nothing but the moonlight seeping in through the translucent curtains. Just as he was about to draw his arms back around Mary, he heard her lightly gasp.

"Oh!"

Matthew frowned in worry. "Mary? What's wrong?"

She looked up at him with complete joy and excitement in her eyes. She had not yet responded to his question, but simply drew his hand towards her bulging stomach. Matthew kept his hand there for a brief moment before he felt a kick coming from inside Mary's womb. His eyes shared the same excitement as Mary's of feeling their child kicking for the first time.

"That was amazing!" he cried. "Did it hurt?"

Mary couldn't contain her elation as she in turn chuckled at her husband's response and shook her head. "No, but it felt absolutely wonderful."

Matthew smiled as he gathered Mary into his arms and kissed her on the lips with great love and passion. When they broke apart, he caressed Mary's belly.

"Just a few more months," he said.

Mary nodded. "And our prince will arrive."

Matthew raised an eyebrow in amusement. "You think it'll be a boy?"

"I don't think," Mary said. "I know it is…A little baby boy with your eyes."

He chuckled. "I was sort of hoping for a girl."

Mary was rather taken aback by Matthew's choice. "A girl?"

Matthew nodded. "Yes, a baby girl that looks just like her mother."

"Don't make me blush," Mary responded teasingly.

Matthew smiled. "Then, blush. I love seeing you all flushed."

Mary chuckled before moving closer once more to Matthew as he welcomed her in his warm embrace before the couple drifted off to sleep.

* * *

"_Mary? Mary, darling?"_

Mary snapped her head up from the sound of her mother's voice. She had nearly forgotten that she was in the new nursery with her mother, who was designing the new interior. Laid before them were several wallpaper samples and various fabric samples for the new bedding. Mary was here to assist Cora in deciding on what the interior of the nursery would look like, but Mary seemed to be too occupied about the today's upcoming meeting regarding the estate.

Mary hadn't slept a wink the night prior to the meeting. She was worried about how the meeting would go and as to whether or not Matthew and her father would come to terms with their differences.

Edith had gone back up to London to stop by the newspaper office as well as meeting up with Evelyn Napier for another dinner together. Matthew was working in their sitting room, Tom was in the nursery with baby Sybil, and her father was in the library trying to hide from everybody, something he had been doing very frequently these days.

Cora looked at her daughter, slightly worried. "Are you alright, dear? You looked as if you were in a trance. Maybe it's about time we have some lunch."

Mary sighed as she took a seat in the nearby rocking chair. "I was just thinking about the meeting of the estate with Papa and Matthew. I don't think I have an appetite to eat with all this worrying."

"Maybe it would be best if you sit out of it, dear," Cora suggested. "You've been looking rather exhausted these days and with the baby and all-"

"Not you, too. For heaven's sake, I'm pregnant, Mama, not an invalid!" Mary frowned. "And after convincing Matthew to even let me sit in? Absolutely not. I am sick and tired of seeing Matthew and Papa run at each other's throats over the estate. They need to realize that they need to work together in order for anything to work!"

Mary took a few moments to calm down, keeping in mind that her constant shouting would not be beneficial for the baby or her blood pressure.

"All I'm saying is that if we can get Papa to see another light in this situation, he could at least begin to understand what Matthew is trying to do," Mary said. She drew in a shaky breath, preventing the tears that were threatening to fall. "Matthew isn't trying to make Papa look like a bad Earl, Mama."

Cora smiled at her eldest daughter. "I know he isn't, darling. I know."

"Then you have to help me convince Papa to feel the same way."

Cora knelt down in front of Mary, taking her hands in hers as she gave an encouraging smile. "You know I'll do everything I can," Cora replied.

Cora stood rose up from her kneeling position and straightened out her skirt. "I'll ring up Carson to prepare some luncheon for us, both. Is there anything in particular you want? When I was carrying you, I drove Mrs. Patmore mad with all of my strange craving requests."

Mary weakly smiled before shaking her head. "Anything will do."

After a quiet luncheon, Mary and Cora had found a seat on the red couch in the library, where they sat across from Matthew and Tom. Mary passed on an encouraging smile towards Matthew who did the same as the meeting progressed. But, like always, voices rose and tempers flared as the heated argument increased.

There Mary sat in the library, sitting beside her mother as she listened to her father, Matthew, and Tom bickering about the farms on the estate. Despite wanting to be a part of the discussion, Mary couldn't help but to drift in and out of the conversations. It wasn't until she saw Tom rising up from his seat on the couch, clearly frustrated by the entire situation.

"We're giving the farmers a choice! That's all!" Tom shouted. "If they want to sell, the larger units will let us meet the challenges of the modern world!"

"Profit! Profit! Profit!" Robert shouted. "Do the families who have been living here almost as long as we have mean nothing to you?! I feel as though you have not been listening to my side of the argument!"

Mary included herself into the conversation.

"Oh, Papa, that is not true!" Mary exclaimed. "We are on your side! But, we need to build something that will last, Papa, not stand by and watch it crumble into dust."

"What about the tenants?!" Robert cried. "What about the men and women who put their trust in us? Is this fair for them? I don't believe so!"

Despite her husband's raising voice, Cora kept herself in a calm, maintained state. "But, isn't the most important thing for them or us is to maintain Downton as a source of employment?"

Robert looked at Cora with a hint of disappointment in his eyes. "So, you're against me, too?"

Cora rose from her seat, her hands clasped together. "It seems to me your plan adds up to carrying on as if nothing's changed to spend Matthew's money, keeping up with the illusion. Then when we fall into a bottomless pit of debt, we'll set up and go. So yes, I believe that Matthew is right."

Robert nodded his head, his face rigged with seriousness and defeat. "…I see. You seem to be agreed there's no place for me in all this. So, obviously it's time for me to take a backseat."

Everybody watched as Robert storm out of the library. Mary looked at Matthew with pleading eyes, telling him to do something, but she could tell by his eyes that he didn't know what to do or say to bring Robert back into this conversation. Being the stubborn daughter that she is, Mary was not prepared to let her father leave. She stood up from her seat on the couch and started to follow her father.

"Papa! Please, wait-"

Mary couldn't finish her sentence before experiencing a dangerous wave of dizziness. It felt like the floor beneath her feet was moving before her, making her balance at unease. She stopped in her tracks and closed her eyes, in hopes that the vertigo would subside.

"Darling?" Matthew called out in great concern, seeing his wife sway dangerously to her side. "What's wrong?"

Mary shook her head. "N-Nothing's wrong, I just stood up too quickly. Just let me talk to Papa and-"

Taking another stride took a toll on Mary's balance as she felt her knees beginning to buckle under her weight and giving out. Her vision blurred into a haze as black patches crossed her vision. Hearing a distant cry from her mother, Mary instinctively placed a hand across her stomach, in hopes that it would help protect the baby from this fall. She felt a pair of strong arms grabbing for her and her name being called before her vision and hearing distanced themselves from her consciousness.

"_Oh, my God, Mary! MARY!"_

* * *

_**To be continued…**_

_**A/N: Hope you enjoyed this chapter! And I also hope that the next chapter won't take as long to write/upload for you guys since I'm sure this cliffhanger wouldn't make the situation any better. Anyways, hope you all have a great week! See you in the next chapter!**_

_**Reviews/comments are always welcomed! **_

_**Cheers!**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: Hello, everyone!**_

_**Once again, I apologize for the slight delay of chapter 6. During the process of writing, I edited it and changed a few things, which prolonged the wait. But, I do thank you for your patience and waiting for this chapter, which I do hope you will enjoy. After all, cliffhangers can always be stressful. **_

_**Anways! On a side note, this may be my last post until Christmas break due to exams well on their way, coming towards me at full speed. Although I would MUCH rather post chapters for this story, I do want to pass my exams (haha), meaning I need prioritize my attention/focus on studying/completing any final assignments this week. So, if you do not see a post for a lengthy period that is the reason.**_

_**Also, I feel like this story is almost half-completed. I know, this is rather short, but I wasn't quite planning on making this a long story anyway. Perhaps, I may write a sequel to it when First Steps Forward is complete, but my main goal is to finish this story for you all. Again, I can't thank you enough for all of your support for this story. It really does mean a lot to me and I don't know how to express my gratitude except to continuously thank you all, every time I log onto Fanfiction.**_

_**Now, I feel as though I've blabbered long enough. Now, here's chapter 6.**_

* * *

"_Exhaustion and dehydration."_

Those two words kept ringing in Matthew's ears.

_Exhaustion and dehydration._

Exhaustion and dehydration was Mary's diagnosis, after falling unconscious just a few hours ago. Matthew saw her. It was a memory that haunted his mind, constantly replaying like a broken record. He saw her swaying dangerously on her feet before her knees gave way. He saw her knees buckling under her weight, sending her body to the floor. _He reached_. Matthew lunged forward to catch Mary's body all the while hearing Cora's scream in fear. His heartbeat pounded in his ears, with adrenaline coursing through his veins. He prayed to God in hopes that he was going to make it on time. Fortunately, his arms managed to reach her. His arms swooped underneath her arms, catching Mary's body before plummeting against the cold, hard surface.

_Mary was lifeless_. Her arms were flaccid, her head craned back when Matthew placed an arm under her neck for support. He tried to wake her, gently shaking her body in hopes that she would awaken from her temporary sleep. But, her body remained _limp_. Her face showed no signs of colour, her skin as white as snow. In the few minutes after the fall, it was all a blur to Matthew. He could recall him shouting at Tom, ordering him to call Dr. Clarkson immediately. _Tears_. Matthew found himself crying, seeing his worst nightmare turning into a reality. Yet, he didn't have the ability to dry the tears that have fallen. He could recall Cora gently coaxing him in her calmest voice possible to take Mary up to their bedroom, which he obliged despite his absentminded state. Despite her condition, Mary felt so light in Matthew's arms. It was like she wasn't pregnant at all when he carried her up the grand staircase and into their bedroom.

Now, she slept in their bedroom, on their bed, looking so peaceful, as if the terrifying event from this afternoon had never happened. Dr. Clarkson had left not too long ago, after careful examination. Matthew had not left Mary's side. There he sat, on a chair next to Mary's bedside, with one of her hands enveloped in his; silently praying to God that nothing was wrong. Dr. Clarkson had asked him to leave, but Matthew refused otherwise. He stayed put in his place, not wanting to leave his wife's side.

"_She's suffering from __**exhaustion and dehydration**_._ Luckily, it is nothing too serious that cannot be cured. Lady Mary is to be bed-ridden for a few days and is ordered to drink plenty of fluids as well as eat diligently. She cannot afford to skip meals, especially when carrying with child. As for the baby, the child is healthy. I believe it sensed the mother's anxiety and must've been scared by the situation, but it has a strong heartbeat and seems to be developing well. As for Lady Mary's condition, her blood pressure was very low, which was the probable cause of her fainting. However, with rest and proper nutrition, it should help. If there are any complications or an area of concern, please do not hesitate to call me."_

Matthew was _terrified_.

He was terrified at the mere thought that the lives of Mary and their unborn child were at stake. _God_, if he had just kept his post and refused Mary's insistence on being at the meeting, none of this would've happen. _None of it._ But, wanting to make her happy, Matthew succumbed to Mary's request and allowed her to sit in the meeting. But, he had come to realize that wanting to make his wife happy did not always mean keeping her away from harm. Why, oh _why_, was he so stupid?! Matthew buried his head in the palms of his hands, crying silently in shame. He was supposed to be the _protector_. But, instead he did the opposite by jeopardizing the two most precious people in his life. Matthew continued to replay the conversation he had with Dr. Clarkson during his presence at Downton.

"_No, Mr. Crawley. Luckily, Lady Mary is not at risk nor is she showing any signs of pre-eclampsia. Signs for pre-eclampsia would be elevated blood pressure, higher protein levels, and swelling of hands and feet. Thankfully, she has not showed any of these signs, but that does not mean she won't be at risk later on in her pregnancy. As of right now, that should be the least of your concerns. Lady Mary needs rest and a stress-free environment. I have known Lady Mary for a very long time, and I know that she tends to defy all rules that prevent her from doing whatever she wants."_

_Matthew lightly scoffed at the true statement._

"_But, you need to stand firm and inform her that she does not have that leniency anymore. I fear that if she does not get her strength back, she could potentially have a difficult delivery when the time comes. But, that is still ways ahead and I'm sure that Lady Mary will have a full recovery by then."_

It was past dinner time. Mathew had not gotten up from his seat since this afternoon, wanting to be there when Mary had woken up. Cousin Cora had insisted on having a bite to eat and even had Anna bring up a couple of sandwiches, but he would have none of it. He couldn't bear the thought of eating without feeling sick to his stomach especially when his beautiful Mary was lying beside him. Matthew's memories clouded over when he heard light rustling of the bed sheets. He snapped his head up from his hands, wiping away any of the fallen tears that would have given away his fear and uncertainty. He watched Mary lightly shuffle under the covers, her brows frowning slightly before her eyelids gently fluttered opened. She turned her head towards Matthew, leaving Matthew with a set of fresh tears rolling down his tear-stricken face.

"…Matthew?" she whispered.

He grasped her hand once more and kissed it roughly, his eyes clenched tight as he choked on a sob. "Oh, thank God! Thank God you're alright, Mary!"

A weak smile formed on Mary's pale lips as she took in her surroundings. She was in the bedroom—their bedroom. It took a few moments for Mary to recall the events of this afternoon. Her eyes slightly widened, remembering that she had taken a fall before fainting. Mary attempted to sit up, but her head was too clouded and heavy for her to move off the pillow.

"Don't get up, darling," Matthew ordered in a soft voice. "You need to rest."

Mary raised her arm towards her throat, which was uncomfortably dry for her liking. "May I have some water?"

Matthew shifted in his seat as he took the pitcher and glass from the nightstand and poured a glass of water. He gently raised Mary's head and tipped the cold glass by her lips, in which she gratefully took a sip to quench her very thirsty state. Matthew was alerted when Mary was finished by her light sigh that escaped her lips. Matthew eased her head back onto the cushioned pillow and set the glass of water back onto the nightstand. He watched Mary's eyes look back at him, probably scolding him internally by his unkempt appearance. His jacket was long forgotten on the chair he sat on, along with his matching vest that was draped haphazardly by the foot of the bed. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled halfway up his forearms and his tie was loosened along with the first few buttons by his neck unbuttoned. Matthew's hair was unruly disheveled, after repeatedly running his hands through it by utter frustration and anger he had on himself. He forced a weak smile on his lips as he reached out to brush away the loose flyaway hairs that had escaped from Mary's braid.

"…You scared me nearly half to death," he whispered.

Mary let out a whispered chuckle. "I can see that in your face. You look as if you've added nearly twenty years."

"I'm serious, Mary," Matthew said gravely. "I was so scared that…I couldn't bear the thought of you- and the baby…"

"Shhhh..." Mary whispered. "It's alright, Matthew. I'm alright. Nothing has happened. I'm your stormbraver…I'm not going anywhere."

Mary watched Matthew has he remained quiet to recollect his composure. He sniffed a couple of times before wiping away the remaining tears on his face.

"…Matthew?"

He looked up to see Mary, carrying a more serious and worried expression on her face. He took a hold of her hand once more with his and kissed it softly.

"Yes, darling?"

"The baby…?"

"The baby is fine, healthy even. Dr. Clarkson said that the baby had a fright when you fainted, but otherwise, the baby's very healthy. But, you have to stay in bed for a couple of days. You were diagnosed with exhaustion and dehydration, meaning you need plenty of rest and lots of fluids and proper nutrition. You may not like obeying orders, but this is for the sake of you and the baby. We can't afford to take any more risks, Mary, so please…follow Dr. Clarkson's orders."

Mary sighed in relief that the baby was unharmed. Judging by what she could recall, Matthew must've managed to catch her fall before anything could happen. Mary was _thankful_. She couldn't fathom what would she or Matthew would have done if anything had happened to their child. She placed her hand on top of her stomach that curved upwards underneath the sheets. She scolded herself internally for being so careless. She was taking care for two, now. But, Mary's stubbornness always got in the way of what was more important.

"…I am so sorry, darling," Matthew apologized profusely. "I am _so _sorry."

Mary looked back at Matthew, clearly confused at the whole matter. "Why? You did nothing wrong. If anything, I should be the one apologizing."

Mary tried to place a hand on Matthew's cheek, but he pulled away from her touch with hostility. He leaned away from the bed, rubbing his face with his bare hands in distress. He looked up once more, allowing Mary to see his eyes, red and swollen from the constant crying and the wiping of his tears. But, Mary could tell that Matthew was haunted by anger and resentment. Indeed, Matthew was just that. He was angered by the fact that he allowed Mary to sit down at the meeting and resented for ever letting this happen to his beautiful wife. He lowered his head once more in shame as he ran his fingers through his hair for the umpteenth time today.

"…Matthew, look at me."

Matthew refused.

"_Matthew_, please look at me," Mary repeated once more with more firmness in her tone.

With great hesitance, Matthew lifted his head again to meet eyes with Mary, who exuded nothing but love and forgiveness.

"This was _not_ your fault, Matthew," Mary said.

"But, it-"

"It _wasn't _your fault," Mary emphasized. "You had no way of knowing this was going to happen. If it weren't for my stubbornness, none of this would have happened. I seemed to have forgotten that I am no longer caring for one, but two people now and I cannot be doing all the things I have done in the past. My judgment had gotten the best of me and I should've listened to you. You were worried for my well-being, but I took it as an insult rather than concern. So please, stop blaming yourself for something that you weren't responsible for."

Tears escaped Matthew's eyes once more as he rested his head on the bed, next to where Mary laid. Never had he cried this much in a day since he was a young boy. The last time Matthew had cried was when he was running in the house, when he was told specifically _not _to and accidentally broke one of his mother's expensive vases. He could recall being absolutely mortified, instantly crying on the spot, in fear of how is mother would react to the situation. When Isobel entered the room, hearing her son crying, she saw him standing by the shattered ceramic of what used to be her vase. He was waiting for her to start shouting and scolding, like most mothers would. But, much to Matthew's surprise, Isobel enveloped him in open arms and asking if he was alright and checked to see that there were no scraps or cuts on his body. His mother didn't care about the replaceable vase. She cared for her son and his well-being. Feeling his mother's love, young Matthew couldn't help but to burst into tears, wailing louder than before into his mother's chest. And he could recall very distinctly of feeling the vibrations of Isobel's light laughter and hearing her words, assuring him that everything was going to be alright.

And like in the past, Matthew suddenly felt a heavy burden lifted from his shoulders after hearing Mary's reassurance. Not by the fact that Mary had apologized for her misjudgment. No. Like in the past, it was the fact that despite everything that has happened in the last couple of hours; _everything was going to be alright._ No cuts or scraps were found, and all emotional wounds have been healed. At this time, Matthew couldn't help but to feel like that young boy crying in his mother's arms. His quiet cries muffled against the bed sheets. Mary smiled as she reached out to run her fingers through his hair, in order to coax him of his sorrows. The feeling was nostalgic.

"Shhhh, it's alright, darling," Mary hushed. "Everything is going to be alright."

Matthew slightly nodded. _Yes, let's hope everything is going to be alright."_

* * *

Mary's eyes fluttered opened, ridding themselves of sleep. It had been two days since her accident and Matthew was nothing but a darling to her. He stayed by her side, comforted her, brought her meals, and did whatever it took to make her comfortable. Though, today, he was not by her bedside, for he had work until the evening. Matthew was extremely hesitant of leaving Mary that very morning, but she shooed him off, insisting that she had all the help she needed.

Although Matthew was not by her side, Mary noticed a presence that had taken his place. She turned her head slightly to find another man sitting where her husband would sit. It was her father. There he sat, in the chair that Matthew had sat in for the last two days, with a grave expression written on his face. Robert was polished in appearance, much more so than Matthew was with his shirt finely pressed of any wrinkles, his vest buttoned, and his jacket impeccably brushed of any lint. His back was against the chair, sitting rather straight, but was leaning his elbow against the arm rest, his head leaning against his hand. Mary sat up in bed as the two shared a silent glance towards one another, something they had always done when Mary was a little girl. She would always wait for her father to speak first. Not because it was the lady-like thing to do, but because she _cared _about her father's opinion.

It was another few quiet minutes when Mary heard her father speak.

"It seems as though everything I've done recently has been a disappointment…" Robert quietly said.

Mary noticed her father sinking lower into the seat, not exuding the confident presence that he usual has. Today, he was scared, _timid, _everything that Mary was not usually used to seeing.

"Oh, Papa…" Mary quietly whispered.

Mary extended out one of hands in which Robert gratefully took. She watched her father, the man who has seen her through thick and thin, become broken and weak. His tears were left unnoticed, and his quiet cries were heard. Mary had rarely seen this side of her father, but out of the very few that she did, it broke her heart.

"…Do you remember the time I almost ran away?" Mary asked.

Robert looked up before reminiscing of the vivid memory that replayed in his mind like it had happened just yesterday. Mary was just five years of age when Sybil was just born. Mary was livid at the prospect of not one, but two younger sisters that seemed to have taken all the attention from every member of the household. As a result, she grew an authoritative attitude that was not appreciated by her nanny or the other servants, leaving Mary to be left alone in her nursery to meditate over her selfish actions.

"You were so angry towards Edith and Sybil that you took your coat and favourite doll and decided to run away, until you realized that you hadn't a clue where to run away to," Robert explained. "So, you hid under my desk in the library instead."

Mary smiled, nodding in agreement at the recollection of her naivety of her younger self.

It was just a few moments before dinner when the nanny approached Lord Grantham and the Countess, completely horrified to declare Lady Mary's missing appearance. The entire house was in a stand still as Robert ordered every member of the household to search every single room in Downton until his eldest daughter was found. Sure enough, it was Robert who found his daughter, curled up under his desk in the library, her jacket draped over her body, and her doll in her firm grasp. It wasn't until he heard the soft sniffles coming from his daughter when he realized that she had been crying.

_Robert bent down on the floor, to get a better look at Mary._

"_Mary, thank God!" Robert sighed in relief. "You had everybody worried! Come out from under there."_

_Little Mary shook her head before wiping the few tears that had escaped her eyes. "I...I was planning on running away."_

"_Oh? May I ask where to?"_

"_T-That's the thing…" Mary quietly answered. "I didn't know where to go…so I hid under here."_

_Robert smiled tiredly at his eldest daughter. "And, may I also ask why you decided to run away?"_

_There was silence from under the desk._

"_Mary?"_

"_Because…Because I've done nothing but disappoint everybody."_

"_Oh, darling…come here," Robert switched his position and was now crouching on the floor, his heels grounded on the floor to keep himself balanced._

_He watched as his eldest daughter crawl out from beneath his desk and run into his embrace, her doll and coat left forgotten on the floor, as she cried into his chest. Robert rubbed circles across Mary's back and lightly shushed her to calm her down._

"_Darling, you could never be a disappointment," Robert quietly whispered into his daughter's ear. "Your mother and I love you very much, but it seems to me that you have been feeling neglected because of your sisters. You were upset, and you acted upon it by rebelling people's orders as a means to be given attention. You may be a little difficult sometimes, but don't let anyone think that you could ever be a disappointment."_

_Listening to the comforting words of her father, little Mary had a new wave of tears as her cries became violently louder, nearly choking on her own sobs. She felt her father lightly chuckle as he continued to rub her bath in soothing, circular motions all the while showering her tear-stained face with his kisses._

_Cora had quickly entered the library, upon hearing the cries of one of her daughters. But, she was welcomed by the sight of her husband holding their eldest daughter in his arms while trying to comfort her. Robert had made eye contact, informing that everything was alright and she needn't worry. With a smile of relief and love, Cora walked out of the library to inform the others of Mary's reappearance._

"Even despite my selfish and forceful ways, you always took my side," Mary said, "no matter how difficult I was."

"A father's love has no boundaries, my dear," Robert replied quietly.

"Then you must understand what Matthew is trying to do."

Robert looked up from his hands to look at his daughter, his beautiful daughter, who he still sees as that little five year-old girl that hid under his desk. But, she was a grown woman, who has seen and done many things in her thirty years and is now expecting her own little one in just five, short months. He felt Mary's gaze as the two shared a moment of silence.

"…Don't you see, Papa?" Mary continued. "He's not trying to belittle you. He's trying to _be_ you."

"I don't see what the difference is," Robert replied.

Mary took a minute to collect her thoughts, her hands fiddling with her wedding band when she spoke. "Papa…Matthew is only doing what you have been doing your entire life. He has learned from you and is trying to make Downton a safe and secure place for our future, and for our future children. He knows how important Downton is to you, to me, and to the history of our family. With all the changes after the War, he is trying to adapt the estate to those changes to prevent us from leaving our home. Please believe when I tell you that Matthew is not trying to upset you. He's trying to make you proud as the future Earl of Grantham."

Robert looked at his eldest daughter in amazement. _When did she grown up to be this beautiful, confident woman? _Though her voice was laced with all seriousness, he could see her face soften and a faint indication of a smile at the very thought of Matthew, showing how Mary has changed over the span of eleven years. She was never one to express her emotions, but even the very mention of her husband, Robert could tell there was a certain glow that radiated from Mary's face. It seems as though everybody has changed in many ways, but Robert was stuck in his own world, believing that nothing would change after the Great War and that everything and everybody was the same. If everybody else could accept change, why couldn't he?

With a small smile, Robert cupped his daughter's cheek in adoration and admiration, swaying his thumb back and forth against her porcelain skin.

"You always seem to get your way with me," he teased. "Ever since you were little, you always knew how to get your way."

Mary laughed amidst the tears that threatened to fall. "That's because I'm your daughter. It's my very duty to have my way with you."

Robert chuckled. "Yes, yes it is."

The father and daughter embraced for a hug, a symbol for the end of all the tension that was caused by the estate. Robert kissed the crown of Mary's head, all the while thinking how foolish and ignorant he had been about the entire situation. All this time, telling his wife that he was going to do better for his daughters, _his family_, was all words, but no action. But, today that was going to change.

It was time for change.

_He _was going to change…

…For the better of his family _and _for Downton.

* * *

Matthew was in his bedroom, sitting on a chair pulled up to the side of the bed, while watching Mary, who had just fallen asleep a few minutes ago. She was awfully quiet when he had returned from work and did not have much to eat for dinner, but ate in order to keep him content. He had noticed her eyes slightly red, indicating that had been crying not too long ago, but did not say anything, not wanting to push Mary into saying anything if she did not wish to speak. Instead, Mary just gave Matthew a tired smile and a loving kiss on the lips before tucking herself into bed for an early dismissal.

His hand instinctively hovered over her face, smoothing away any of the hairs that had fallen out of Mary's braid. Her deep, even breaths were soothing to Matthew's ears, notifying him that she was deeply asleep, clearly exhausted by whatever event that occurred while he was away in Ripon. But, despite the tears that had fallen, Mary looked so peaceful and at ease in her sleep, showing no signs of distress or discomfort in her body language. It almost looked as if she was smiling in her sleep, her lips faintly curling upwards.

A soft knock echoed through the room, followed by creaking sounds as a result of the door to the bedroom being opened. Matthew looked up from Mary to see Robert standing by the door, his hand on the door knob. He did not enter the room, not wanting to disturb Mary's peace, but he slightly nodded his head, signalling for Matthew's attention. Matthew could sense that Robert wanted to speak to him, but not in the bedroom with Mary fast asleep in bed. He stood up from his seat and gave Mary a light kiss on the forehead before exiting the room to follow Robert to the library.

Matthew headed toward the fireplace and sat down on one of the couches when he watched Robert walk over to the large windows that looked out onto Downton's estate. His hands clasped behind his back, a stance Matthew would occasionally see whenever Robert was in a trance.

Matthew spoke. "I apologize for letting my anger get the best of me. I had no intentions of upsetting you, truly I didn't."

Robert paused before turning around from his position to gaze at his son-in-law.

"...I do not wish to argue with you, Matthew," he said.

Matthew let his arms fall down to his sides. "Nor do I," he quietly replied.

Robert weakly smiled. "Yet, it seems that is all we have been doing."

Matthew pursed his lips into a thin line, accepting Robert's accurate description. It was true. It seemed as if all of their conversations were nothing but arguments about the estate. Matthew could barely recall the last time the two had a decent discussion about anything else _besides _Downton.

Robert walked over to the varnished table where his bottle of scotch was set along with a pair of glasses that was prepared by one of the footmen of the house. He poured two glasses, and picked them up, handing one over to Matthew who accepted it, but did not drink it. He watched the brown liquid move when he swirled his glass in a circular motion. Robert took a seat on the couch across from Matthew, continuing the silence between them with nothing but the crackling of the fire in the background.

"…When Mary was young, she disliked change," Robert said.

Matthew looked up from his glass and watched Robert, who was slightly smiling at the memory. "Actually, she _hated _it…almost as much as she hated being told what to do."

Matthew weakly smiled. It seemed like old habits die hard.

Robert took a sip of his drink before continuing. "She wanted everything to say the same. When she was a child, she didn't want a new sister. Then, when she was old enough, she didn't want to leave the nursery. And on the year of her first season, Mary wanted nothing to do with it."

Matthew remained silent.

Robert continued, "…We tell our children that change is good and that we need to embrace it in order for us to grow. Change is what alters us to become the people that we are today. It also informs others that we are open-minded and are willing to subject to difference and the ideas of others. Despite these beliefs, I seemed to have ignored my own advice and closed my mind off from any change. It's strange how we can all be so hypocritical in times when life does not quite agree with our terms. I have been unfair and treated your opinions with no interest, continuing on my own perspectives and as Cora said, my plans were carrying on as if nothing has changed when in fact, a great deal of matter has."

Robert stood up from his seat, finishing off the remainder of his drink before setting the glass back onto the silver tray it originally sat on top. He turned around towards Matthew once more, who was still seated on the couch, his drink now placed on the side table next to the couch, still untouched. His gaze was set in front of him, not meeting Robert's eyes, looking confused...almost lost, even. Robert gave him a tired smile, not one of defeat, but one of understanding and agreement.

"Although I am not fully brought around to this idea, I have placed by foot in between the door. I see you as my own son, Matthew. And I truly care about your thoughts and opinions. " Robert said. "…Let's give it a go and see what the future brings,"

Matthew turned his head towards his father-in-law, his eyes widened in shock. The genuineness and sincerity of his voice and his overall body language told Matthew that Robert was willing to go forth on his plans for Downton. Though he wasn't fully on board, Robert was willing to change his attitude for the better of Downton, and for the better of the family. Matthew stood up from his seat, his shoulders no longer clenched up to his ears. They were far more relaxed, illustrating the peace the two have made. No longer was tension built between the two and no longer did they share harsh words to each other. There may still be arguments along the way, but knowing Robert was willing to be a part of the new journey, it was more than enough to keep Matthew at ease.

Matthew smiled. It was not forced by any means. No. It was a sincere smile, one that emanated appreciation and gratitude towards his father-in-law.

"…Thank you," Matthew quietly said. "Thank you, Robert."

Robert slightly nodded in acceptance. "Don't thank me just yet. I may still be a bit of challenge along the way."

Matthew lightly chuckled. "Yes, well, that is to be expected…even with me."

Robert grinned at the gentle nature of their conversation, one that he had missed greatly between him and the next heir to their home. Robert walked up towards Matthew, before giving him a pat on the shoulder, lightly squeezing in assurance.

"If we're going to brave the new world together, we must brave it together," he said.

Matthew smiled and nodded.

"…_I couldn't agree more."_

* * *

_**To be continued…**_

_**A/N: So, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! As always, criticism/comments are always appreciated! Thank you so much for reading and spending the time to give me feedback. It really does mean a lot to me. I hope to see you all in the next chapter!**_

_**Cheers!**_


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